Post by Andre Cash on Dec 22, 2022 16:44:24 GMT
*The Scene opens up with a flashback to Andre celebrating in a smaller indy promotion (DHW) after winning their Rumble. The announcer can be heard over the footage*
Andre Cash has won the Die Hard Rumble, he’s going on to face the DHW World Champion at our biggest show of the year!
*The scene changes to a bigger, but not quite IIW-sized, independent promotion, once again showing Cash celebrating in the center of the ring, he looks exhausted*
Cash has done it, he has outlasted 39 other men and will go down in the record books as the winner of the IFPW Scramble!
*The scene changes one final time with Andre sitting in a large, leather chair facing the camera in a sharp gray suit. He smiles and begins to speak*
They say nothing beats experience. While there may be guys entering this match with more years in the ring than I’ve been alive, I still have the experience of going the distance. You see, everyone touts my strength, my superstar looks, and my intensity but no one can seem to wrap their minds around my ability to go the distance. I have entered various “rumbles” from the number 1 spot and outlasted everyone to become the winner. No one expects the big, strong ox to set foot in the ring and be able to handle his wind, but I’m not like all the other big men! I’m an athlete, the Alpha Athlete. I have proved myself in every company I’ve ever set foot in and have outlasted their top guys in every way, shape, or form. That’s what separates me from other big men, I have, and will, go the distance when needed. So what does that have to do with the Ice Crown Rumble? I’ll tell you, it means, I’ve done this shit before, and ain’t nobody stopping me from doing it again! “We’re going to turn down the heat to -10 degrees and let the wrestlers battle it out,” -10 ain’t shit my brothas in christ, because when you’re an Alpha, let alone THE Alpha, you just work different…I’m cold as ice, and flashy as it too if ya catch my drift.
There’s only one thing that shrinks on me in the cold and it isn’t anything I’ll need to utilize in this match. I’m still going to be 6’6” and 297 pounds of muscle that will take every ounce of power you have to get me over the top rope. I’m not here to talk, because it’s all about action but if IIW is insisting that I have to speak on this match, I’m gonna do it as quickly as I can. So let’s talk about some of the other “stars” that are entering this match.
First, we’ve got a ranking system I like to call “absolute dogshit” that’s reserved for all of the people who have no fucking business in the ring with me. This rank includes the pure trash of TCJ, Apathy, K Jax, Liam Cain, and whoever the fuck else is in this match that hasn’t done a goddamn thing to prove themselves to me or any of the people. You are the participation trophies of professional wrestling but, unlike your safe spaces, we don’t give those here. So I got some advice for you, just hop out of the match and go stay warm because the old saying may be “if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen,” but allow me to propose a new saying “If you can’t handle the cold, step away from the Coldest motherfucker in the room!” You are absolutely nothing to me and it shows in how much “hype” you have around you. Stay out of my way, and you may live to see another day!
Then there are the people who matter, but not as much as yours truly. People like Eoin O’Rouke, Caleb Scott, and Maverick Tatum, these people have name value and might pull out the upset but that doesn’t mean they will. Betting odds say, yup, all yo asses getting tossed out! You guys want to be stars, and some of you might believe you are, but I promise, your asses getting sent! Just be happy that it’s only over the top and not to God!
Finally, we have the “stars” like J Mont, Fred Debonair, and…that’s about it. You guys are established, worth it, but in the end, I’m planning on making my name at the expense of yours. I’m coming for your bitch asses and the Alpha is gonna go through all of you on his way to the big belt. BECAUSE…a World-Class Athlete deserves World Championships, you guys just happen to be in my way!
Believe what you hear because the Alpha…just be speaking the truth!
*The scene fades as the last of image Andre intensely glaring down at the camera fades to black.*
Andre Cash has won the Die Hard Rumble, he’s going on to face the DHW World Champion at our biggest show of the year!
*The scene changes to a bigger, but not quite IIW-sized, independent promotion, once again showing Cash celebrating in the center of the ring, he looks exhausted*
Cash has done it, he has outlasted 39 other men and will go down in the record books as the winner of the IFPW Scramble!
*The scene changes one final time with Andre sitting in a large, leather chair facing the camera in a sharp gray suit. He smiles and begins to speak*
They say nothing beats experience. While there may be guys entering this match with more years in the ring than I’ve been alive, I still have the experience of going the distance. You see, everyone touts my strength, my superstar looks, and my intensity but no one can seem to wrap their minds around my ability to go the distance. I have entered various “rumbles” from the number 1 spot and outlasted everyone to become the winner. No one expects the big, strong ox to set foot in the ring and be able to handle his wind, but I’m not like all the other big men! I’m an athlete, the Alpha Athlete. I have proved myself in every company I’ve ever set foot in and have outlasted their top guys in every way, shape, or form. That’s what separates me from other big men, I have, and will, go the distance when needed. So what does that have to do with the Ice Crown Rumble? I’ll tell you, it means, I’ve done this shit before, and ain’t nobody stopping me from doing it again! “We’re going to turn down the heat to -10 degrees and let the wrestlers battle it out,” -10 ain’t shit my brothas in christ, because when you’re an Alpha, let alone THE Alpha, you just work different…I’m cold as ice, and flashy as it too if ya catch my drift.
There’s only one thing that shrinks on me in the cold and it isn’t anything I’ll need to utilize in this match. I’m still going to be 6’6” and 297 pounds of muscle that will take every ounce of power you have to get me over the top rope. I’m not here to talk, because it’s all about action but if IIW is insisting that I have to speak on this match, I’m gonna do it as quickly as I can. So let’s talk about some of the other “stars” that are entering this match.
First, we’ve got a ranking system I like to call “absolute dogshit” that’s reserved for all of the people who have no fucking business in the ring with me. This rank includes the pure trash of TCJ, Apathy, K Jax, Liam Cain, and whoever the fuck else is in this match that hasn’t done a goddamn thing to prove themselves to me or any of the people. You are the participation trophies of professional wrestling but, unlike your safe spaces, we don’t give those here. So I got some advice for you, just hop out of the match and go stay warm because the old saying may be “if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen,” but allow me to propose a new saying “If you can’t handle the cold, step away from the Coldest motherfucker in the room!” You are absolutely nothing to me and it shows in how much “hype” you have around you. Stay out of my way, and you may live to see another day!
Then there are the people who matter, but not as much as yours truly. People like Eoin O’Rouke, Caleb Scott, and Maverick Tatum, these people have name value and might pull out the upset but that doesn’t mean they will. Betting odds say, yup, all yo asses getting tossed out! You guys want to be stars, and some of you might believe you are, but I promise, your asses getting sent! Just be happy that it’s only over the top and not to God!
Finally, we have the “stars” like J Mont, Fred Debonair, and…that’s about it. You guys are established, worth it, but in the end, I’m planning on making my name at the expense of yours. I’m coming for your bitch asses and the Alpha is gonna go through all of you on his way to the big belt. BECAUSE…a World-Class Athlete deserves World Championships, you guys just happen to be in my way!
Believe what you hear because the Alpha…just be speaking the truth!
*The scene fades as the last of image Andre intensely glaring down at the camera fades to black.*