Post by Osh Vaughan on Mar 16, 2021 1:27:27 GMT
Original Airdate Nov 2007
DISCLAIMER
BY READING ON YOU ARE AGREEING NOT TO GET OFFENDED BY THE SICK AND HORRIFIC JOKES THAT FOLLOW ON. BY CONTINUIN TO READ YOU ALSO AGREE NOT TO TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUS AS ITS ALL A JOKE IN THE SICK MIND OF YOURS TRUELY TO GET A FEW CHEAP LAUGHS
ENJOY
Introduction
Mr Pain – Welcome to the second episode of UnStable Mates
Hopefully as your reading this you thought the las’ one was all rate
I’m here to introduce you to episode 2
The episode titled “If Mr Pain Can Rap..Can You?”
Osh – Also as you may find out. I don’t plan these episodes so the title tends to not have anything to do with the actual show.
Episiode 2 – “If Mr Pain Can Rap… Can you?”
The lads are wondering down the hall way and then suddenly Adam Bradley comes running up to them
Adam Bradley – Anyone up for a game of pin the tail on the donkey?
Foz – No but I’d pin my tail in yo momma!
Adam Bradley – You have a tail? Does it come out your bum bum??
Foz – No but it comes..hmm can I say this?
Foz looks at Osh who nods his head
Foz – No but it comes out on your mums bum bum!
Jonny C – BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN
Adam Bradley – That’s not fair!
Jonny C- For Fuke sake Blinky cant you go and gets some friends!
Adam Bradley- Well I had some friends once…but the rope snapped and they got away
Foz- greaaaaaaaaat
Adam Bradley sulks as he wonders off as the guys head to the student bar.
They each get a pint…Well Foz gets a bicardi breezer cuz he’s a bit of a puff when it comes to drinking. They then spot Stoner sat down in the corner and walk down there.
Osh – Hey Stoner mate, How ya doing?
Stoner – Ah not bad Young Man… But I’d be wary if I was you.. Especially when buying drinks.
Foz – Howcome?
Stoner – Well legend states that the man behind the bar is one Benz Ortega. The rumour is he was once caught spying in on the women’s dressing room while they were all getting changed
Osh – Legend!
Stoner- But no… Because it was a dead women’s changing room. And as a result his mind was corrupted as he saw things no one should ever see, And now he goes back every night to that same place to look through the dead women’s changing room door in hope of seeing her again
Osh- Woah.. That True?
Stoner – Probs.. Or I’m High one or the other.
The lads look at each other worried as Benz Ortega comes over to collect their glasses
Benz Ortega – hmmm It smells like dead people over here.
He Smiles as he walks off but the lads look at each other even more worried.
Later That Day Mrs Studs has taken Kyle out to the shops to get some new clothes for the new term
Kyle Studs- That aint right?
Mrs Studs- What?
Kyle Studs- Children shouldn’t swear?
Mrs Studs- Huh?
Kyle Studs- Over there it says Children Swear
Mrs Studs- Shut up you jew
Kyle Studs- huh?
Mrs Studs- well it’s true, you are a jew
Kyle Studs- no im not!
Mrs Studs- well what do you think that thing hanging in that jar is on the mantelpiece?
Kyle Studs- aww Mum… I thought it was a fish… you were saving for me.. I even put it into the fish bowl with the other fishies!
Mrs Studs- You ready to go meet all your new friends as the halls then Kylie?
Kyle- Please don’t call me that.
Mrs Studs- But its my name
Kyle- But IM NOT A GIRL… I don’t know why you called me Kylie Hanna Montana Studs! I AM A BOY!
Mrs Studs- Take that back Kyle! You have a lovely name
Kyle – Sorry mum I’m just scared about not making friends at uni
Back in Osh’s room Osh and Rob are talking about their next step.
Osh – Right now I’m Halls Rep.. What can we do?
Rob – Not sure really
Osh – But stoner said it would mean I would have a lot of power
Together- He was probably high
Osh – God damn it!
Jonny C then walks in
Jonny C – You know what Osh.. I been thinking
Osh – Oh dear.. Go on
Jonny C – Do you reckon Alec Fleming is gay?
Osh – Don’t think so … Why?
Jonny C – Well He’s the head tutor… And from what I can figure out that means he teaches people how to give head. Meaning he has had a lot of sausage!
Osh – Ha.. I don’t think it actually means he teaches how to give head, It’s just his role
Jonny C – but what about this? I was given this earlier
Jonny C pulls out a leafet
Alec Fleming’s Giving Head Class
The IIW Halls Head Tutor Tutors Students How To Give Head for a nominal price
P.S Males only
Osh – OH dear lord! I think we may need to consult Stoner about this!
Osh, Rob and Jonny head off to Stoners room with the flyer.
Osh – Hey Stoner sorry to bother you
Stoner – No worries
Osh – But we found this flyer about Alec Fleming, we were hoping you could give us some insight.
Stoner – Ah Alec Flemings infamous head giving class. The story goes that Alec Fleming was once a student down here back when he was 18 and he one night brought home a girl that was referred to as FugUgly Fiona.. The story states that she had one jagged tooth that stuck out a mile but Fleming didn’t think much about that until she went down on him! The story states that Alec Flemings mangina was split in two!
Osh- Woah.. That True?
Stoner – Probs.. Or I’m High one or the other.
Jonny – Did they fix it?
Stoner – Well that is another story.. But there is no time for that.. I need another joint I’m beginning to crash!
Rob – Ok cheers Stoner.
Stoner – Any time little man!
As the guys walk out they bump into Kyle Studs
Kyle – Oh hi there.. I’m Kyle… Nice to meet you
Osh – Eve’nin mate, I’m Osh. This is Rob and Jonny
Rob – Evenin
Jonny – Hi FUCK
Kyle – Excuse me?
Osh – Oh he’s got tourettes
Kyle – ah that’s cool then
Just then Kyle’s mum walks in
Mrs Studs – Ok Kylie it’s time for me to go.. But I’ve got your lunch box here for next time
Kyle – I’m 18 not 12!!!!
Mrs Studs – sorry pookie
Mrs Studs gives Kyle a kiss before walking off
Osh – Kylie?
Kyle – err Yeah.. That’s my name
Osh – hahaha love it
Kyle – Stop it
Osh – Sorry Kylie
Kyle – I said stop it
Osh – sorry. I just cant get it outta my head.
Kyle – Oh my god if your gonna give me this much abuse about my first name.. I’m glad you don’t know my full name!
Jonny looks on and quickly pickpockets Kyles wallet and looks at his ID
Jonny – Kylie Hanna Montana Studs
Osh – Seriously? Are you a lad or a girl?
Kyle – GET LOST!
Kyle runs off
Osh – Well I think we hurt his feelings
Rob – Don’t worry he’ll probs return out of the blue in 4 years.
Osh – Ah true he does seem the type
The End!
DISCLAIMER
BY READING ON YOU ARE AGREEING NOT TO GET OFFENDED BY THE SICK AND HORRIFIC JOKES THAT FOLLOW ON. BY CONTINUIN TO READ YOU ALSO AGREE NOT TO TAKE ANYTHING SERIOUS AS ITS ALL A JOKE IN THE SICK MIND OF YOURS TRUELY TO GET A FEW CHEAP LAUGHS
ENJOY
Introduction
Mr Pain – Welcome to the second episode of UnStable Mates
Hopefully as your reading this you thought the las’ one was all rate
I’m here to introduce you to episode 2
The episode titled “If Mr Pain Can Rap..Can You?”
Osh – Also as you may find out. I don’t plan these episodes so the title tends to not have anything to do with the actual show.
Episiode 2 – “If Mr Pain Can Rap… Can you?”
The lads are wondering down the hall way and then suddenly Adam Bradley comes running up to them
Adam Bradley – Anyone up for a game of pin the tail on the donkey?
Foz – No but I’d pin my tail in yo momma!
Adam Bradley – You have a tail? Does it come out your bum bum??
Foz – No but it comes..hmm can I say this?
Foz looks at Osh who nods his head
Foz – No but it comes out on your mums bum bum!
Jonny C – BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN
Adam Bradley – That’s not fair!
Jonny C- For Fuke sake Blinky cant you go and gets some friends!
Adam Bradley- Well I had some friends once…but the rope snapped and they got away
Foz- greaaaaaaaaat
Adam Bradley sulks as he wonders off as the guys head to the student bar.
They each get a pint…Well Foz gets a bicardi breezer cuz he’s a bit of a puff when it comes to drinking. They then spot Stoner sat down in the corner and walk down there.
Osh – Hey Stoner mate, How ya doing?
Stoner – Ah not bad Young Man… But I’d be wary if I was you.. Especially when buying drinks.
Foz – Howcome?
Stoner – Well legend states that the man behind the bar is one Benz Ortega. The rumour is he was once caught spying in on the women’s dressing room while they were all getting changed
Osh – Legend!
Stoner- But no… Because it was a dead women’s changing room. And as a result his mind was corrupted as he saw things no one should ever see, And now he goes back every night to that same place to look through the dead women’s changing room door in hope of seeing her again
Osh- Woah.. That True?
Stoner – Probs.. Or I’m High one or the other.
The lads look at each other worried as Benz Ortega comes over to collect their glasses
Benz Ortega – hmmm It smells like dead people over here.
He Smiles as he walks off but the lads look at each other even more worried.
Later That Day Mrs Studs has taken Kyle out to the shops to get some new clothes for the new term
Kyle Studs- That aint right?
Mrs Studs- What?
Kyle Studs- Children shouldn’t swear?
Mrs Studs- Huh?
Kyle Studs- Over there it says Children Swear
Mrs Studs- Shut up you jew
Kyle Studs- huh?
Mrs Studs- well it’s true, you are a jew
Kyle Studs- no im not!
Mrs Studs- well what do you think that thing hanging in that jar is on the mantelpiece?
Kyle Studs- aww Mum… I thought it was a fish… you were saving for me.. I even put it into the fish bowl with the other fishies!
Mrs Studs- You ready to go meet all your new friends as the halls then Kylie?
Kyle- Please don’t call me that.
Mrs Studs- But its my name
Kyle- But IM NOT A GIRL… I don’t know why you called me Kylie Hanna Montana Studs! I AM A BOY!
Mrs Studs- Take that back Kyle! You have a lovely name
Kyle – Sorry mum I’m just scared about not making friends at uni
Back in Osh’s room Osh and Rob are talking about their next step.
Osh – Right now I’m Halls Rep.. What can we do?
Rob – Not sure really
Osh – But stoner said it would mean I would have a lot of power
Together- He was probably high
Osh – God damn it!
Jonny C then walks in
Jonny C – You know what Osh.. I been thinking
Osh – Oh dear.. Go on
Jonny C – Do you reckon Alec Fleming is gay?
Osh – Don’t think so … Why?
Jonny C – Well He’s the head tutor… And from what I can figure out that means he teaches people how to give head. Meaning he has had a lot of sausage!
Osh – Ha.. I don’t think it actually means he teaches how to give head, It’s just his role
Jonny C – but what about this? I was given this earlier
Jonny C pulls out a leafet
Alec Fleming’s Giving Head Class
The IIW Halls Head Tutor Tutors Students How To Give Head for a nominal price
P.S Males only
Osh – OH dear lord! I think we may need to consult Stoner about this!
Osh, Rob and Jonny head off to Stoners room with the flyer.
Osh – Hey Stoner sorry to bother you
Stoner – No worries
Osh – But we found this flyer about Alec Fleming, we were hoping you could give us some insight.
Stoner – Ah Alec Flemings infamous head giving class. The story goes that Alec Fleming was once a student down here back when he was 18 and he one night brought home a girl that was referred to as FugUgly Fiona.. The story states that she had one jagged tooth that stuck out a mile but Fleming didn’t think much about that until she went down on him! The story states that Alec Flemings mangina was split in two!
Osh- Woah.. That True?
Stoner – Probs.. Or I’m High one or the other.
Jonny – Did they fix it?
Stoner – Well that is another story.. But there is no time for that.. I need another joint I’m beginning to crash!
Rob – Ok cheers Stoner.
Stoner – Any time little man!
As the guys walk out they bump into Kyle Studs
Kyle – Oh hi there.. I’m Kyle… Nice to meet you
Osh – Eve’nin mate, I’m Osh. This is Rob and Jonny
Rob – Evenin
Jonny – Hi FUCK
Kyle – Excuse me?
Osh – Oh he’s got tourettes
Kyle – ah that’s cool then
Just then Kyle’s mum walks in
Mrs Studs – Ok Kylie it’s time for me to go.. But I’ve got your lunch box here for next time
Kyle – I’m 18 not 12!!!!
Mrs Studs – sorry pookie
Mrs Studs gives Kyle a kiss before walking off
Osh – Kylie?
Kyle – err Yeah.. That’s my name
Osh – hahaha love it
Kyle – Stop it
Osh – Sorry Kylie
Kyle – I said stop it
Osh – sorry. I just cant get it outta my head.
Kyle – Oh my god if your gonna give me this much abuse about my first name.. I’m glad you don’t know my full name!
Jonny looks on and quickly pickpockets Kyles wallet and looks at his ID
Jonny – Kylie Hanna Montana Studs
Osh – Seriously? Are you a lad or a girl?
Kyle – GET LOST!
Kyle runs off
Osh – Well I think we hurt his feelings
Rob – Don’t worry he’ll probs return out of the blue in 4 years.
Osh – Ah true he does seem the type
The End!