Post by Osh Vaughan on Mar 16, 2021 1:28:46 GMT
Original Airdate - Nov 2007
IIW Halls – Episode 4 –
Now this is where the disclaimer should be but if you haven’t gathered by now that reading the IIW Halls puts your health at risk [Foz nearly killed himself when he choked a brew while reading episode 2] And it also has been known to send people insane be it from its horror its perversion or just from its horrible horrible grammar! So by reading this disclaimer you agree to the previous disclaimer!
Introduction
Osh - So last time you were here Adam Bradley was about to get stabbed. The truth is we all want Adam to get stabbed just like we all want him to leave the IIW but it just doesn’t happen which is why Del Fuego had a fit and passed out before stabbing Adam Bradley. Lame.. I know but hey it means we can still poke fun at Adam Bradley in this episode. Because it just wouldn’t be IIW Halls if we didn’t! As a reward for that lame ass start/ending we will reward you with Adam The Monsters on screen debut.. Well we might do I not really thought how this episode will pan out. Although a man will get hit in the face with a football
Start Of Episode 4 – The Episode with No Name Name
Foz – Where the hell that come from! Ow that hurt!
Osh – What
Foz – I don’t know… I just got hit in the face with a football
Osh – well you obviously didn’t read the introduction then!
Just then a guy walks out of Alec Flemings office
Osh – Well either he’s auditioning to play a cowboy or he has been well and truly Bradleyed up the arse!
Then the guy turns round and looks at them
Guy – Hi I’m Sean Taylor im the Positive Mental Situation helper. My job here is to clean up any mess you may have got in
Osh – Bit ironic that? Being PMS and cleaning up and wanting to help, from my past experience PMS have lead to bitchyness and a lot of blood
Foz – that could be a bit crude
Osh – don’t worry it will probably be edited out before anyone else see’s it
Later on Adam Bradley is skipping down the hall way.. when he skips past ATM’s locked room
ATM – Psst let me out little boy… It will be in your best interests… I’ll be your friend!
Adam Bradley – A friend?... Like a real one?
ATM – yes… THEN I WILL MONSTERIZE YOU
Adam Bradley – but I’d have a friend? I thought stuff like that only happens in the movies!
ATM – Yes little boy let me in.
Adam Bradley begins to unlock the door as the scene switches to Mr Pain
Mr Pain – Yo All My Homiez this is pain’s time, so grab a seat pull it up and enjoy the rhyme.
I have nothing better to do as uni not started, And I’m rapping in this room because Rob just farted
But It’s time for Pain to step up and make a name, because that’s how things go in this damn rap game!
Back at the ATM Door [What that scene took up precious lines!]
ATM is now stood next to Adam Bradley
Adam Bradley – So your names Adam as well?
ATM looks at Adam Bradley… He then pulls some salt out of his pocket and starts to tip it over Adam Bradley
Adam Bradley – Wow is that pixy dust?
ATM – Sure, can you hold these for a second?
ATM Gives Adam Bradley a knife and fork as he tucks his handkerchief into his shirt
Adam Bradley – That ok?
ATM – Ok give them back now
Adam Bradley – Ok now what?
Adam The Monster opens his mouth and swallows Adam Bradley whole
Adam The Monster begins to whistle and walks off.
Back at Mr Pain
Mr Pain – see you couldn’t avoid my rap, that’s why you came b….
Scene cuts back to Osh n Foz
Osh – hmm it smells funny
Foz – yeah?
Osh – And I’m not talking Stoner’s room funny… Smells like some one’s just been eaten
Foz – how do you know what that smells like?
Osh – I have the Shining!
Foz – Oh that would explain that plot hole
Osh – Roughly
Foz – I do hope its Adam Bradley
Osh – It would be a real disappointment after him almost getting killed last episode…
Foz – Episode?
Osh – I mean earlier today.. And now we got our hopes up again that he’s been eaten… This could pan out to have a big anti climax to this episode
Foz – you mean day?
Osh – Sure, why not.
Suddenly the Sirens begin to go off
Osh – Ok What we meant to do when the sirens go off?
Foz – Don’t know.. I think we should just go to Stoners room
Stoners Room
Stoner – Come in young gollywogs
Osh – Golly wog?
Stoner – I don’t know, I’m high….
Osh – Stoner why are the sirens going off?
Stoner – Ah.. The Sirens story.. now that is a story one can only tell under the influence of the strongest state of mind… or while one is high. But yes the Sirens. The story goes that the Sirens were installed in the late 1800s, 35 years before the building was built, rumour is the guy whose idea it was, was high. But the Sirens were said to never go off unless it was a life or death emergency, they didn’t even use the sirens when the building was blown up in the early 1700s. The story goes that if the Sirens are ringing there is something unnatural, something magical about to happen. That or someone’s set off the fire alarm
Osh- Woah.. That True?
Stoner – Yeah… While I was getting high.. The fumes clogged up the smoke detector.
Osh – well if it’s a fire drill maybe should head outside
Stoner – We could… Or we could get high!
The Next Day
Once again Osh, Jonny, Foz and Stoner are in Alec Flemings room
Foz – hmmm Smells of butter
Alec Fleming – Shut up Fozraldo Heat, you are in lots of trouble, you and the rest of you gollywogs
Osh – racist!
Alec Fleming – The 2nd floor of halls have reported that food was stolen last night and to be honest you are our main subjects!
Osh – what!!!
Foz – Yeah you can’t prove that we didn’t go out for the Siren last night, and you certainly cant prove that we stayed in Stoners room getting stoned all last night, and you DEFINATLY cant prove that after we started to crash we all got the munchies and ate all the contents in the 2nd floor fridge
Alec Fleming – That would be true.. Except due to your escapades with a paintball gun we hired some CCTV cameras to record everything you 4 got upto.
Alec Fleming points at Kyle Hanna who is sat at the otherside of the room who waves back
Alec Fleming – Our unnamed witness over there also has given his account on how you broke in there and ate his birthday cake
Osh – In my defense… he was asleep!
Alec Fleming – Your all in trouble
Jonny C – Aww Shiit
Alec Fleming – Oh the kid with tourettes, I guess your let off, you can leave
Jonny C – Woopty Fucking doo
Jonny gets up and leaves
Alec Fleming – As for the rest of you what do you have to say about the charges of stealing?
Stoner – I was high
Alec Fleming – Good enough
Foz – I was high
Alec Fleming – sorry that excuse has already been used!
Osh – Well in our defense, it wasn’t stealing, we just broke onto their floor, broke through locks on the fridge, prized open the safe and took Kyle Hanna’s money
Kyle – what?
Osh – so really we just broke our way in and took what we needed, Now you cant possibly tell me that is stealing!
Alec Fleming – Ok time to deal our your punishments….
Just then there is a loud monster like scream coming from the toilets
They all Rush over there where some one is in the cubicle screaming
Guy – THIS IS A BIG’UN!!! PUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH….PUSSSSSSSH
Osh – Is someone giving birth to a kid in there?
Guy – I WILL MONSTERIZE YOU………ahhhhhh
Suddenly there is a flush and the door opens as Adam The Monster walks out reading a newspaper
ATM – There’s a bit of a clog in there.
The lads peek into the toilet where Adam Bradley’s head can be seen sticking out of the toilet
Adam Bradley – I’ve been to a dark dark place!
Voice Over: all parts of this creation are totally fictional and don’t relate to any members of the public, hopefully noone will be offended by this but to be honest a lot will, especially one special individual, but he should take it with a pinch of salt, and remember, the writers and producers of this show are dimwits and this programme should not be repeated by anyone due to the sheer crappyness of how its put across, I mean come on crappyness isn’t even a word
IIW Halls – Episode 4 –
Now this is where the disclaimer should be but if you haven’t gathered by now that reading the IIW Halls puts your health at risk [Foz nearly killed himself when he choked a brew while reading episode 2] And it also has been known to send people insane be it from its horror its perversion or just from its horrible horrible grammar! So by reading this disclaimer you agree to the previous disclaimer!
Introduction
Osh - So last time you were here Adam Bradley was about to get stabbed. The truth is we all want Adam to get stabbed just like we all want him to leave the IIW but it just doesn’t happen which is why Del Fuego had a fit and passed out before stabbing Adam Bradley. Lame.. I know but hey it means we can still poke fun at Adam Bradley in this episode. Because it just wouldn’t be IIW Halls if we didn’t! As a reward for that lame ass start/ending we will reward you with Adam The Monsters on screen debut.. Well we might do I not really thought how this episode will pan out. Although a man will get hit in the face with a football
Start Of Episode 4 – The Episode with No Name Name
Foz – Where the hell that come from! Ow that hurt!
Osh – What
Foz – I don’t know… I just got hit in the face with a football
Osh – well you obviously didn’t read the introduction then!
Just then a guy walks out of Alec Flemings office
Osh – Well either he’s auditioning to play a cowboy or he has been well and truly Bradleyed up the arse!
Then the guy turns round and looks at them
Guy – Hi I’m Sean Taylor im the Positive Mental Situation helper. My job here is to clean up any mess you may have got in
Osh – Bit ironic that? Being PMS and cleaning up and wanting to help, from my past experience PMS have lead to bitchyness and a lot of blood
Foz – that could be a bit crude
Osh – don’t worry it will probably be edited out before anyone else see’s it
Later on Adam Bradley is skipping down the hall way.. when he skips past ATM’s locked room
ATM – Psst let me out little boy… It will be in your best interests… I’ll be your friend!
Adam Bradley – A friend?... Like a real one?
ATM – yes… THEN I WILL MONSTERIZE YOU
Adam Bradley – but I’d have a friend? I thought stuff like that only happens in the movies!
ATM – Yes little boy let me in.
Adam Bradley begins to unlock the door as the scene switches to Mr Pain
Mr Pain – Yo All My Homiez this is pain’s time, so grab a seat pull it up and enjoy the rhyme.
I have nothing better to do as uni not started, And I’m rapping in this room because Rob just farted
But It’s time for Pain to step up and make a name, because that’s how things go in this damn rap game!
Back at the ATM Door [What that scene took up precious lines!]
ATM is now stood next to Adam Bradley
Adam Bradley – So your names Adam as well?
ATM looks at Adam Bradley… He then pulls some salt out of his pocket and starts to tip it over Adam Bradley
Adam Bradley – Wow is that pixy dust?
ATM – Sure, can you hold these for a second?
ATM Gives Adam Bradley a knife and fork as he tucks his handkerchief into his shirt
Adam Bradley – That ok?
ATM – Ok give them back now
Adam Bradley – Ok now what?
Adam The Monster opens his mouth and swallows Adam Bradley whole
Adam The Monster begins to whistle and walks off.
Back at Mr Pain
Mr Pain – see you couldn’t avoid my rap, that’s why you came b….
Scene cuts back to Osh n Foz
Osh – hmm it smells funny
Foz – yeah?
Osh – And I’m not talking Stoner’s room funny… Smells like some one’s just been eaten
Foz – how do you know what that smells like?
Osh – I have the Shining!
Foz – Oh that would explain that plot hole
Osh – Roughly
Foz – I do hope its Adam Bradley
Osh – It would be a real disappointment after him almost getting killed last episode…
Foz – Episode?
Osh – I mean earlier today.. And now we got our hopes up again that he’s been eaten… This could pan out to have a big anti climax to this episode
Foz – you mean day?
Osh – Sure, why not.
Suddenly the Sirens begin to go off
Osh – Ok What we meant to do when the sirens go off?
Foz – Don’t know.. I think we should just go to Stoners room
Stoners Room
Stoner – Come in young gollywogs
Osh – Golly wog?
Stoner – I don’t know, I’m high….
Osh – Stoner why are the sirens going off?
Stoner – Ah.. The Sirens story.. now that is a story one can only tell under the influence of the strongest state of mind… or while one is high. But yes the Sirens. The story goes that the Sirens were installed in the late 1800s, 35 years before the building was built, rumour is the guy whose idea it was, was high. But the Sirens were said to never go off unless it was a life or death emergency, they didn’t even use the sirens when the building was blown up in the early 1700s. The story goes that if the Sirens are ringing there is something unnatural, something magical about to happen. That or someone’s set off the fire alarm
Osh- Woah.. That True?
Stoner – Yeah… While I was getting high.. The fumes clogged up the smoke detector.
Osh – well if it’s a fire drill maybe should head outside
Stoner – We could… Or we could get high!
The Next Day
Once again Osh, Jonny, Foz and Stoner are in Alec Flemings room
Foz – hmmm Smells of butter
Alec Fleming – Shut up Fozraldo Heat, you are in lots of trouble, you and the rest of you gollywogs
Osh – racist!
Alec Fleming – The 2nd floor of halls have reported that food was stolen last night and to be honest you are our main subjects!
Osh – what!!!
Foz – Yeah you can’t prove that we didn’t go out for the Siren last night, and you certainly cant prove that we stayed in Stoners room getting stoned all last night, and you DEFINATLY cant prove that after we started to crash we all got the munchies and ate all the contents in the 2nd floor fridge
Alec Fleming – That would be true.. Except due to your escapades with a paintball gun we hired some CCTV cameras to record everything you 4 got upto.
Alec Fleming points at Kyle Hanna who is sat at the otherside of the room who waves back
Alec Fleming – Our unnamed witness over there also has given his account on how you broke in there and ate his birthday cake
Osh – In my defense… he was asleep!
Alec Fleming – Your all in trouble
Jonny C – Aww Shiit
Alec Fleming – Oh the kid with tourettes, I guess your let off, you can leave
Jonny C – Woopty Fucking doo
Jonny gets up and leaves
Alec Fleming – As for the rest of you what do you have to say about the charges of stealing?
Stoner – I was high
Alec Fleming – Good enough
Foz – I was high
Alec Fleming – sorry that excuse has already been used!
Osh – Well in our defense, it wasn’t stealing, we just broke onto their floor, broke through locks on the fridge, prized open the safe and took Kyle Hanna’s money
Kyle – what?
Osh – so really we just broke our way in and took what we needed, Now you cant possibly tell me that is stealing!
Alec Fleming – Ok time to deal our your punishments….
Just then there is a loud monster like scream coming from the toilets
They all Rush over there where some one is in the cubicle screaming
Guy – THIS IS A BIG’UN!!! PUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH….PUSSSSSSSH
Osh – Is someone giving birth to a kid in there?
Guy – I WILL MONSTERIZE YOU………ahhhhhh
Suddenly there is a flush and the door opens as Adam The Monster walks out reading a newspaper
ATM – There’s a bit of a clog in there.
The lads peek into the toilet where Adam Bradley’s head can be seen sticking out of the toilet
Adam Bradley – I’ve been to a dark dark place!
Voice Over: all parts of this creation are totally fictional and don’t relate to any members of the public, hopefully noone will be offended by this but to be honest a lot will, especially one special individual, but he should take it with a pinch of salt, and remember, the writers and producers of this show are dimwits and this programme should not be repeated by anyone due to the sheer crappyness of how its put across, I mean come on crappyness isn’t even a word