Post by Osh Vaughan on Mar 16, 2021 1:30:10 GMT
Original Airdate - Jan 2008
IIW Halls episode 7 – American Bradley
Adam Bradleys Room-
Adam Bradley – Wow! The American Pie film is awesome!!!!
Adam quickly runs off to find Rob, Osh and Foz
Osh – Oh Shit here comes Bradders
Rob – hmm if you Say ‘O’ then ‘Shit’ it’s OSHit
Foz – As always Rob a great addition to the convo!
Bradders wonders over
Adam Bradley – Hey guy I’ve been thinking and I think we should all make a pact to lose our virginity before we pass first year!
Osh – Are you fucking serious?
Foz – Careful Osh, your turning into Jonny C here, 2 lines 2 swears
Osh – Ah yeah, if I keep swearing there wont be any need for him
Rob – Deal bradders!
Osh – Rob?
Rob – Well I wanna!
Osh – Dude… I lost mine when I was 8!
Foz – 8?!!!
Osh – Yeah
Foz – How come it took you so long… I lost aged 5, took the nursery teacher from behind!
Osh - legend
Foz – I AM FOZ
Adam – So there is me and Rob
Rob – Hey if Osh and Foz have lost their virginity, then so have i!
Osh – Err Rob, that’s not how it works
Adam – Damn so I still need 3 guys in my group!
Osh – Maybe Matt Studs can be the stiffler!
Adam – but he isn’t cool!
Osh – True but we’ve all slept with his mum!
Foz – mmm MIFIS!
Adam – Mifis? Isn’t it MILF?
Foz – Not when you fucked her in the shower
Adam – Mother I Fucked In the Shower?
Foz – DAMN RIGHT
Osh – No way! She told me she wasn’t into that kinky shit, she only let me crap on her back!
Foz – If yur that desperate Adam go find Vespertine apparently she can get both legs behind her head…Think of the possibilities!
Suddenly some old guy walks in
Man – Hi I’m Andrew Kennedy, I saw your room and was very impressed I would like to offer you a place in my halls of residence
Osh – The hello? I’m already in halls and I’ve had a look at your halls and they are the worst looking halls I have ever seen!
Andrew Kennedy – but I was impressed!
Osh – Ok then… which was my room?
Andrew Kennedy – Err err erm
Andrew Kennedy runs off
Foz – To quote Jonny C a second… What a fucking fag
Laters on Adam Bradley is talking to Sahib
Adam – Hey Sahib, I was wondering because your Asian if you wanted to be the MILF kid in halls?
Sahib – What The Fuck? You racist bastard! Just cos I’m asian you think I should be stereotyped? I will blow you up!
Adam – Err that isn’t really helping the stereotype…
Adam realizes what he’s said and runs off as Sahib looks on angrily
Back wherever the previous scene was held….
Osh – I think we need to see Stoner
Foz – We do seem to be going to see Stoner a lot more now he’s got his only pot tree
Osh – Coincidence my friend!
Stoners Room
Osh – Hey Stoner… We need to talk to you about Adam Bradley
Stoner – Do Come in
Osh – Cheer’s Stoner.. well here is the problem… Adam Bradley is running around pretending he’s Jim from American Pie because he watched it earlier on the TV.
Stoner – mmmhmm
Osh – Except he’s not even getting it right… Earlier on we caught him fucking a magpie instead of an apple pie!
Stoner – What The Fuck? Am I High?
Osh – You mean you don’t have a story?
Stoner – For once I must say no… Who the fuck shags a fucking magpie?
Osh – Adam Bradley… Think we just established that.. but what can we do to stop him?
Stoner – Kill all magpies… unless hes a magpie necrophilia
Rob – A Macrophiliac?
Foz – Shut up!
Stoner – You must stop him… Or else the Magpies will be wiped out forever!
Osh – And?
Stoner – I don’t know, get me a splif! Just remember
Osh- What?
Stoner - Persistence is key to immortality. Remember that
Osh – Why?
Stoner – Cuz I’m so fucking high I wont
The guys walk out
Osh – Wow… that’s the first time ever I can call Stoner a fucking muppet
Foz – Muppet?
Osh – Yes?
Foz – all the words you can come out with… and you choose Muppet?
Osh – Leave me alone!
Meanwhile…
Adam – Hey Vespertine
Vespertine – Hi
Adam – Wanna help me lose my virginity?
Vespertine – errm.. sure
Adam – Do you go to band camp?
Vespertine – errm.. no?
Adam – Crap.. cant use you then… The search continues
Meanwhile… I should really think of a better way of switching scene but anyway…
Rob – Pain.. you realize we’ve been here 7 weeks now but not been to a single lecture.. infact from what I’ve heard no one has been to one
Mr Pain- Who comes to uni to go to classes? I just came to hit those asses!
Rob – But still shouldn’t some one been to a class?
Mr Pain – Who comes to uni to get an A? Only those who are truly Gay
Rob – Would be a bit of a coincidence if next week we all go to uni for the first time and we all end up on the same course
Mr Pain – fo’sho’mo’fo
The Common Room Later
The lads are sat there having a laugh.
Osh – You hear Bradley turned down sex with Vespertine because she didn’t go to band camp?
Jonny C – What A Fucking FUCK loser!
Foz – I thought you had that thing where you had to say Cock everytime someone said Bradley
Jonny C – Nah
Foz – then why did you?
Jonny C – Cuz Bradders is a cock
Foz – Fair Play
Benz then walks in
Benz – Hi Guys
Lads – Hey
Benz – I got some bad news… I have been fired as chef of IIW Halls
Rob – ah well
Benz – I know your all sad
Osh – suure..
Benz – I know your gagging to hear why I got fired
Foz – ermm No, but I guess you’ll tell us anyway
Benz – I got fired, me and Sean Taylor both separately had an affair with the broom closet, hmm I wish it had been together, the babies we could’ve produced
Foz – Well that’s life changing… what bout Taylor?
Benz: But Damn Sean Taylor was cleared of all wrong doings by Fleming
Osh – Well thanks for that… I’m sure you’ll find a new job
Benz – I Don’t need one… I’ve sued the broom closet for cheating on me and expecting a nice lump sum of compensation to be awarded!
Foz – Well good luck with that
Suddenly Bradders runs in
Adam Bradley – IM GETTING MARRIED!
Osh – Sigh.. Typical Bradders… cant even get it right… He’s forgot about American Pie 2 and gone straight to American Pie 3… typical
Jonny C – Bloody Fucking Typical
Osh – In all fairness I’m all cool with it unless Bradders shaves his pubes
Adam Bradley – Osh I got something to show you!
Osh – Fuck this END EPISODE!
IIW Halls episode 7 – American Bradley
Adam Bradleys Room-
Adam Bradley – Wow! The American Pie film is awesome!!!!
Adam quickly runs off to find Rob, Osh and Foz
Osh – Oh Shit here comes Bradders
Rob – hmm if you Say ‘O’ then ‘Shit’ it’s OSHit
Foz – As always Rob a great addition to the convo!
Bradders wonders over
Adam Bradley – Hey guy I’ve been thinking and I think we should all make a pact to lose our virginity before we pass first year!
Osh – Are you fucking serious?
Foz – Careful Osh, your turning into Jonny C here, 2 lines 2 swears
Osh – Ah yeah, if I keep swearing there wont be any need for him
Rob – Deal bradders!
Osh – Rob?
Rob – Well I wanna!
Osh – Dude… I lost mine when I was 8!
Foz – 8?!!!
Osh – Yeah
Foz – How come it took you so long… I lost aged 5, took the nursery teacher from behind!
Osh - legend
Foz – I AM FOZ
Adam – So there is me and Rob
Rob – Hey if Osh and Foz have lost their virginity, then so have i!
Osh – Err Rob, that’s not how it works
Adam – Damn so I still need 3 guys in my group!
Osh – Maybe Matt Studs can be the stiffler!
Adam – but he isn’t cool!
Osh – True but we’ve all slept with his mum!
Foz – mmm MIFIS!
Adam – Mifis? Isn’t it MILF?
Foz – Not when you fucked her in the shower
Adam – Mother I Fucked In the Shower?
Foz – DAMN RIGHT
Osh – No way! She told me she wasn’t into that kinky shit, she only let me crap on her back!
Foz – If yur that desperate Adam go find Vespertine apparently she can get both legs behind her head…Think of the possibilities!
Suddenly some old guy walks in
Man – Hi I’m Andrew Kennedy, I saw your room and was very impressed I would like to offer you a place in my halls of residence
Osh – The hello? I’m already in halls and I’ve had a look at your halls and they are the worst looking halls I have ever seen!
Andrew Kennedy – but I was impressed!
Osh – Ok then… which was my room?
Andrew Kennedy – Err err erm
Andrew Kennedy runs off
Foz – To quote Jonny C a second… What a fucking fag
Laters on Adam Bradley is talking to Sahib
Adam – Hey Sahib, I was wondering because your Asian if you wanted to be the MILF kid in halls?
Sahib – What The Fuck? You racist bastard! Just cos I’m asian you think I should be stereotyped? I will blow you up!
Adam – Err that isn’t really helping the stereotype…
Adam realizes what he’s said and runs off as Sahib looks on angrily
Back wherever the previous scene was held….
Osh – I think we need to see Stoner
Foz – We do seem to be going to see Stoner a lot more now he’s got his only pot tree
Osh – Coincidence my friend!
Stoners Room
Osh – Hey Stoner… We need to talk to you about Adam Bradley
Stoner – Do Come in
Osh – Cheer’s Stoner.. well here is the problem… Adam Bradley is running around pretending he’s Jim from American Pie because he watched it earlier on the TV.
Stoner – mmmhmm
Osh – Except he’s not even getting it right… Earlier on we caught him fucking a magpie instead of an apple pie!
Stoner – What The Fuck? Am I High?
Osh – You mean you don’t have a story?
Stoner – For once I must say no… Who the fuck shags a fucking magpie?
Osh – Adam Bradley… Think we just established that.. but what can we do to stop him?
Stoner – Kill all magpies… unless hes a magpie necrophilia
Rob – A Macrophiliac?
Foz – Shut up!
Stoner – You must stop him… Or else the Magpies will be wiped out forever!
Osh – And?
Stoner – I don’t know, get me a splif! Just remember
Osh- What?
Stoner - Persistence is key to immortality. Remember that
Osh – Why?
Stoner – Cuz I’m so fucking high I wont
The guys walk out
Osh – Wow… that’s the first time ever I can call Stoner a fucking muppet
Foz – Muppet?
Osh – Yes?
Foz – all the words you can come out with… and you choose Muppet?
Osh – Leave me alone!
Meanwhile…
Adam – Hey Vespertine
Vespertine – Hi
Adam – Wanna help me lose my virginity?
Vespertine – errm.. sure
Adam – Do you go to band camp?
Vespertine – errm.. no?
Adam – Crap.. cant use you then… The search continues
Meanwhile… I should really think of a better way of switching scene but anyway…
Rob – Pain.. you realize we’ve been here 7 weeks now but not been to a single lecture.. infact from what I’ve heard no one has been to one
Mr Pain- Who comes to uni to go to classes? I just came to hit those asses!
Rob – But still shouldn’t some one been to a class?
Mr Pain – Who comes to uni to get an A? Only those who are truly Gay
Rob – Would be a bit of a coincidence if next week we all go to uni for the first time and we all end up on the same course
Mr Pain – fo’sho’mo’fo
The Common Room Later
The lads are sat there having a laugh.
Osh – You hear Bradley turned down sex with Vespertine because she didn’t go to band camp?
Jonny C – What A Fucking FUCK loser!
Foz – I thought you had that thing where you had to say Cock everytime someone said Bradley
Jonny C – Nah
Foz – then why did you?
Jonny C – Cuz Bradders is a cock
Foz – Fair Play
Benz then walks in
Benz – Hi Guys
Lads – Hey
Benz – I got some bad news… I have been fired as chef of IIW Halls
Rob – ah well
Benz – I know your all sad
Osh – suure..
Benz – I know your gagging to hear why I got fired
Foz – ermm No, but I guess you’ll tell us anyway
Benz – I got fired, me and Sean Taylor both separately had an affair with the broom closet, hmm I wish it had been together, the babies we could’ve produced
Foz – Well that’s life changing… what bout Taylor?
Benz: But Damn Sean Taylor was cleared of all wrong doings by Fleming
Osh – Well thanks for that… I’m sure you’ll find a new job
Benz – I Don’t need one… I’ve sued the broom closet for cheating on me and expecting a nice lump sum of compensation to be awarded!
Foz – Well good luck with that
Suddenly Bradders runs in
Adam Bradley – IM GETTING MARRIED!
Osh – Sigh.. Typical Bradders… cant even get it right… He’s forgot about American Pie 2 and gone straight to American Pie 3… typical
Jonny C – Bloody Fucking Typical
Osh – In all fairness I’m all cool with it unless Bradders shaves his pubes
Adam Bradley – Osh I got something to show you!
Osh – Fuck this END EPISODE!