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Post by Osh Vaughan on May 3, 2021 0:27:33 GMT
Street Fight Dan Distoner vs Jason Myers vs
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Post by Dan Distoner on May 7, 2021 1:26:10 GMT
Sitting alone in his locker room. Dan Distoner is listening to music from his ipod when he sets a camera up. And sits down on a plush couch. He presses a button on the remote in his hand. And stares directly into the camera.
Distoner: Jason Jason Jason. What started off 13 years ago in NWA as a rivalry. Has now turned into a blood feud. And in less than 2 weeks you and I will take things to the streets of Manchester England in a falls count anywhere street fight. Where there are no rules. And anything is legal.
Now you think just cause you beat Kev. You have an advantage. Because you have made it so Revolution X can't be at ringside. But even you know. That I can beat you all by myself. If memory serves me correctly. I won my 2nd NWA championship from you. And in that match. You broke my ankle in 3 places. Forcing me to undergo surgery and cost me 6 months of my career. You may have forgot that part of our story Jase. But I remember every single detail. You see Jase. In those days. I fought in every match conceivable. Felt pain that would kill any mere man. And lived to tell about it. You could almost say. That I created the sound of madness and wrote the book on pain. And now I am still here to explain.
I remember years ago. That prick Matt Robinson. Your former tag partner. Cuffed me to a cage. And electrocuted my nuts with a car battery. Lemme tell ya something. It sure gave my sex life a jolt.
Another buddy of yours Seifer Black. He and I battled in a Spider's Web Scaffolding match. And I still walked away.
I have stared death in the eyes. And I am still here to tell the tale.
My point Jason is. In this business. There is nothing I haven't done in that ring. Which should tell you. That When Worlds Collide in less than 2 weeks. I am not intimidated by what could happen in this street fight. Jase I can take ya two the Manchester Cathedral and beat your ass. I can take you to the Science museum and play mad scientist and do some experiments on you. Hell Jase. Just for fun I will take you to the National Football Museum and flat out kick you in the nuts if I wanted to. And most likely will.
Now Jase. I leave you with a quote. And I will take it from one of my favorite songs
Who is alive And who is the devil? You can't decide so I will be your guide. I'll be the one who is taking over. Now This is what it's like When Worlds Collide.
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Post by Jason Myers on May 14, 2021 14:39:30 GMT
The scene opens up to an empty arena; Michael Morrison is stood in the centre of the ring, two podiums are set across from one another and around the ring are local police officers. Michael Morrison, with a microphone in hand then speaks;
Michael Morrison: Welcome Ladies and Gentleman to an IIW.com exclusive. This Sunday, in just over 48 hours from now we will bare witness to a Street Fight between two bitter rivals, ''The Bitter One, The Devil's Reject'' Jason Myers will take on the IIW Legends Champion Dan DiStoner. Now, after Jason beat Kevin Deane last week at Monday Night Mayhem, Revolution X are barred from ringside this Sunday. Today however, we will allow Myers and DiStoner to get a few last words in before these two warriors do battle this Sunday. I must stress however, and this is why we have police officers around the ring, that Jason and Dan cannot strike one another, otherwise the match this Sunday will be called off.
We then hear Dan DiStoner, who signals to his fellow Revolution X members to stay backstage on the microphone as he walks out to the stage;
Dan: Boys, I got this one. I want Myers in one piece for Sunday, so he can't whinge like a whiney limey prick after I erase him from wrestling permanently.
DiStoner then carries on walking down to the ring, he then looks at an attractive female police officer on the outside of the ring, takes out his wallet and hands her his phone number and gives her a wink before walking up the steps;
Dan: Gimme a call some time there honey, I can show you what a real man looks like and not these Austin Powers looking motherfuckers you got here in jolly ol' England. My teeth are perfect, it's called having a dental plan and when I go down on you, your pussy won't get caught in my teeth!
DiStoner then steps between the ropes as he walks up to Morrison, shoving the IIW Legends Championship into the stomach of Morrison;
Dan: Keep my baby nice and safe. This Sunday ain't got nothing to do with the Gold I'm carrying. Myers, get your crooked ass out here right now so we can have a little chat. Bring that fine piece of ass with you, because this Sunday, this is the last time you're gonna see them in one piece so I hope the views are through the roof for this thing. Now get your ass out here right now, I have places to be.
Land Of The Living by Jonathan Young then begins playing as Jason Myers, along with Lilith by his side, makes his way out to the head of the ramp, Myers then makes a beeline for the ring as he squares up to DiStoner, Morrison then interjects between the two men;
Morrison: Gentleman, you know that you cannot strike one another so please, take your places behind each podium, grab your microphones so we can get this underway.
Myers then takes a step back, grabs the mic as he begins to speak;
Myers: DiStoner, you can crack all the jokes you want. You can disrespect my country all you want. But deep down I see a scared little man who surrounds himself with drugs and women. Not giving a damn what people think. The fact of the matter is, you can't stand the fact that I beat ''Killer'' Kevin Deane last Monday. I did that with everything you threw at me and more. That has put you at a massive disadvantage because I know for a fact you're only tough when you've got your mates around you,
DiStoner: Is that what you think? I don't need Revolution X by my side to make sure you're done for. Because I know how to manipulate you. What was it you called me not to long ago? The puppet master? Well your ass is Pinocchio and I'm Geppetto. I'm gonna make sure you make a mistake, you've made plenty since you've returned. You blatantly underestimated Thomas Stone and that's why you didn't advance in the IIW International Championship tournament, and since then I've played you. I got what I wanted from Vaughn, he knows I'm valuable which is why I haven't been fired. Yet people like you, you're a dime a dozen. Making a miraculous comeback from injuries, divorce, declining mental health issues. I'm living proof monsters are real and you might have conquered your demons but you will not conquer me!
Myers: You really think you've been playing me? I banked on you slipping up. I banked on you thinking I was done for. I know people like you. I know what you're all about. But if you're really in control, if you really want to prove that you don't need your buddies by your side humping your leg and sniffing and licking your ass like a horny dog then you need to beat me, otherwise people will see you as someone who forever relies on others.
You bring up my struggles. My problems with my ex wife. My injuries. My mental health. But the fact is I overcame them all to stand before you here today, in front of the whole world, and I am damn proud of the person who I am, because I did it all by myself. Yeah, I had people helping me along the way, I did at times need guidance. But the fact remains it took everything within me not to cut deeper when I slashed my arm open, it took everything within me not to jump off the bridge on that cold, November night. It took a conversation with a close, personal friend to open my eyes about my marriage and tell my bitch of an ex wife where to go. I've conquered my demons. You're just an asshole who needs to be put in his place, and I aim to do that this Sunday because people like you, I see them all the time. The pricks on the street, in workplaces, in pubs, who talk a big game and I think, you need a right smack in the jaw. Well this Sunday, you'll get that smack, that's a guarantee.
Dan then puts his mic down as he walks from the podium, Myers does the same as the two stand apart from one another. Dan then looks Myers square in the eyes as he laughs before spitting the face of Myers, the saliva in his eyes and hair as an enraged Myers flares up, As it looks as if he's about to strike Dan the police prepare to enter the ring but then from behind Lilith slides into the ring and punches Dan square in the balls as DiStoner goes down, she then rips off some of Dan's shirt, gives it to Myers to wipe the spit, which had phlegm in it as well, off his face as he wipes his face clean before throwing it off the head of Dan who is trying to get to his feet. Myers and Lilith are then escorted away by police as the scene fades.
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Post by Dan Distoner on May 15, 2021 3:52:02 GMT
Scene opens in a jail cell in Windsor United Kingdom. Two guards are sitting at a table not far away eating their dinner.
Dan Distoner is heard yelling at a royal guard from a cell where there are two other Yanks confined with Distoner.
Distoner: Hey you giant piece of Brit Shit. I know my rights. This may be Jolly old England. But I am still entitled to one phone call. So quit chowing down on your spotted dick and bring me a phone.
A short guard comes up and let's Distoner out. And accompanies him to a telephone sitting on a desk.
Distoner: Hey Myers. You call me the puppet master. So once again. I'm pulling your strings. You want this fight to happen next week. You are gonna do anything to make sure it happens. So what you are gonna do. Is pay my bail and get me out of jail. I don't care how ya do it. But we both know you will. Because you have something to prove against me.
Dan proceeds to slam the phone down in Myers ear and is led back to his cell. He waves the two American prisoners over. And starts to tell them what led to his arrest.
Distoner: Well gentlemen. Here's what happened. Ya see I stopped off in a pub in Manchester before heading out to Windsor. And something about those bangers and mash just didn't agree with me. So as I'm driving here. I have some pretty wicked gas pains and let me tell you. Imma have to fumigate that car before I can sell it. Because them farts literally smelled like raw sewage was leaking outta my arse.
The two men start laughing at Distoners description.
So anyways. I get to Windsor and of course. First thing I did. Was pay my respects to Princess Diana. She was such a beautiful soul. Always giving back to the world I had to visit her grave.
So I head over towards St George's Chapel. And by this time them bangers and mash were looking for an exit. And unfortunately for me. The restroom was out of order. So I did the next best thing I could think of. I walk out back and drop trowel. Took the healthiest shit of my life. Right outside that chapel. Well in my haste. I happen to see two flags. One was Union Jack. And the other has some sort of insignia I have seen a few times. But couldn't place it. Well not having any toilet paper. Or even a napkin to wipe with. I grab these two flags right off their sticks. And proceed to...well of course. Wipe my ass. When all of a sudden this Limey Brit comes up and cracks me in the head. Right behind my ear. And I wake up in this here cell. I'm like wtf. Is it illegal to take a shit outside?
All of a sudden a familiar voice is heard from outside the cell.
No you dumbfuck. But it's illegal to shit on a member of the Royal Families grave. And then wipe your ass on the Royal flag.
All four Americans burst out laughing. Distoner turns and see's Greg "Chino" Monto.
Distoner: How the hell did you know I was here?
Chino: Myers barged into my office and threw a wad of money on the desk. Said you were here. Still pulling his strings ain't ya Distoner?
Distoner starts laughing.
Distoner: I fucking knew Myers would do it. I knew that dumb son of a bitch would do whatever it takes. Just to get his hands on me. How much of a chunk did I take out of Captain Dipshits wallet?
Chino: Ha. I made him flip me 200 for doing this. But your bail was 2500 usd. And since we both know your car is reeking bro. Let's go. I got the 69 Charger out front. Time to head back to Manchester.
Distoner: Gimmie the keys. I'm driving. You drive like a grandma.
Chino: Yea and you drive like Earnhardt. And I am under orders to bring you back in one piece. So kiss my mexican ass. I'm driving. So get your ass in the car. And let's get on the road. We got almost a 4 hour drive ahead of us.
As they get out to the car. Distoner slides across the hood of the Charger just like Bo and Luke Duke. And gets in on the passenger side.
Distoner: Well what're you waiting for. Let's go. I will roll us a few for the drive.
Chino hops into the drivers seat. Looks over at Distoner and smirks.
Chino: The more things change. The more they stay the same don't they Dan.
They both start to laugh as Chino fires up the engine and peels out of the parking lot.
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