Ah, it’s about that time again for me to grace you all with my presence as I take the squared circle LIVE on Mayhem next Monday Night BABY! I know you don’t have to thank me yet, just wait until the show closes after the opening match because none of you can touch the star power that I, and I alone bring to the goddamn table. It’s not a knock on York, Fred, Bam, or even Shaun because it’s true. Ever since I kicked the front doors open on the IIW I have forced everyone on this roster to raise their game to a different level. Before I showed up the level of complacency was fucking ridiculous, and even now it’s not great because you have certain people that call themselves “stars” pick and choose when they give a crap about what’s going on. After all, they happen to be in the ring with me as opposed to giving one hundred percent every freaking show!
You’re welcome.
Before I arrived on the scene your programming was stale, boring, and predictable. All it took was ME to shake this shit up and make the IIW relevant again.
You’re welcome.
Now that the ball is firmly rolling let’s talk about what I am looking for next. It’s no secret that the winner of the Elimination Chamber is the next placeholder for what is arguably inevitable, and that is Chris Page holding the IIW World Heavyweight Championship. Six of you are going to put yourselves through hell… but only one of you is going to lose to me live on Pay-Per-View in September.
… that’s not a prediction.
It’s a spoiler.
In the meantime, I’ve decided that while my strap is coming that I needed to find something else to satisfy my competitive itch. I’ve made no bones about it that on my way to the World Title I wanted to slay every Champion. Crush, check. Justin York, check. Add Scotty Adams to that list. That’s your UK, International, and Television Champions which means there’s only one Champion’s name that needs to be attached to that list… and it belongs to the Uprising Champion. It’s okay, unpucker that asshole because I assure you that your title means nothing to me outside of just being able to say I’ve added your name to that list of current Champions that have fallen by my sword.
… but before I do that.
There’s another piece of business I am chasing as well. Taking the undefeated streak that stands at nine straight singles wins. One, two, and three are already etched in stone with the number four on the horizon; like there’s any doubt, right? I mean, you’ve seen who I’ve been penciled in to beat up on. Where’s the challenge?
I could shit the bed and still leave with a win.
Damn Shaun, I thought I was your big money attraction and you’re serving me up a cream puff.
I know that I can have an instant classic with a framed fucking picture but not even I am a miracle worker… no wait, I am a miracle worker! That is why you all have jobs at this exact moment in time! Zabian Wells, you big bastard, come on down! You sir are about to get introduced to the new era of the IIW courtesy of the Welcoming Committee.
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Sunday
7/17/22
Velvet Rabbit Meet and Greet
Manhattan, New York
2:45 PM
Featuring Candice Wolf-Page and Shaun Hart
The scene opens inside the Venue on the 5th floor of the Velvet Rabbit, the host of the 2022 CCPE Cannabis Cup Supershow that is slated to take place as the cherry of the 5,000 standing-room-only portions of the Velvet Rabbit is about to be popped in just under one week. The eyes of the wrestling world will be locked on this one epic weekend of professional wrestling that is sure to send shockwaves throughout the multiverse.
Today we’ve been brought to the Venue for a meet and greet with Chris Page slated to start within the next fifteen minutes. Inside the Venue the ring is set up, the lighting is in place, and at ringside a line has started and exceeded out of the Venue and down into the lower floors of the Velvet Rabbit. Plenty of security is present keeping everyone in line and under control as the scene fades backstage into one of the dressing rooms where we find Chris Page, Candice Wolf-Page, and Shaun Hart sitting at a table amidst a conversation.
SHAUN HART: Chris, the only thing I am asking you to do is just be careful. The last thing that the IIW can afford is another injury to arguably the top star in our company. We just lost Russell, Jonny is missing in action, and we just can’t afford for you to get hurt.
Chris leans forward as he asks with a clean tone to his voice.
CHRIS PAGE: And what makes you think I am going to get hurt?
Shaun glances across into his eyes of Candice before cutting them back over to Chris.
SHAUN HART: Uh… it’s a DEATH MATCH!
The words bring a smile to Chris’s face as he leans back in his chair.
SHAUN HART: For the life of me I will never understand why you would willingly get involved in a Death Match with Corey Black in the first place, and while that’s not my business, what is my business is wondering if you are going to be in any shape to show up for Mayhem. The death match is next Sunday, and your match with us is Monday.
When you are the Face of Professional Wrestling there’s always something next. Before we get to Mayhem the culmination of a program that I have put the better part of eight months planning is going to come full circle which will take priority over wasting my time with a Slinky that stands zero chance of doing what nobody else can do within the realm of the IIW; defeat me. The CCPE Cannabis Cup is going to be the talk of the town for weeks and months to come.
A battle of the titans is slated to take place.
A death match that nobody has given me the slightest chance of leaving with a win against another person that claims to be a “King”. Now, we all know what I do to Kings… right, Crush? I humble them, I embarrass them, I make them my puppy dog bitches just because I can and they deserve it for being so original with a nickname.
But that’s not the case with you, Zabian.
The situation that you’ve found yourself in is a bit direr.
CHRIS PAGE: Shaun, I get it. You are looking out for your investment. Well let me put your mind at ease by telling you regardless of how things shake out with Corey Black; it doesn’t matter how much blood I lose, how bad my body is bruised, or if shards of glass are still lodged in my body I will show up in Sydney, Australia.
Chris reaches over taking Candice by the hand.
CHRIS PAGE: I can’t tell you what kind of condition I’ll be in, but what I can tell you is one percent of Chris Page is enough to knock off that clown you’ve got me in the ring with.
To say that you’ve been thrown into the deep end of the pool is a vast understatement, Mr. Wells. You have the undaunted task of doing what nobody has been able to do since I’ve been a part of the IIW… you have to beat me. Let’s be fair, at twenty-two years old you’re still wet behind the ears of what it means to be a professional wrestler. I am the reason that you are even here; I was winning World Titles before you were coming out of your mother’s Cooter.
I have more experience in this profession in my left nut than you have coursing throughout your body.
I am a world-renowned, battle-tested, ass-kicker confirmed by leaving a trail of bodies of World Champions in my wake. You should be thanking the Wrestling God above for the mere opportunity to get to work in the ring with me, but the harsh reality is this isn’t going to end on the best of terms for you. It’s by chance that you are even here. You took a Number One Contender’s match against a team that didn’t even bother to release promotional material; yeah, that’s worth bragging about…
Now it becomes a matter of what you do with your time with greatness?
CHRIS PAGE: Talk about an easy number four.
I spoke earlier about carving my path to the IIW record books by going undefeated in singles by shattering the record that stands before us. It started with Crush and now will run through you, Zabian. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I will be coming off a Death Match in New York before hopping on my jet and coming your way. The only chance that you got is if Corey Black fucking kills me. I’ll wheel myself to that ring in a goddamn wheelchair, I’ll drag my body down that ramp inch by inch if I have to because all it’s going to take to beat you is a mother fucking inside cradle… and I don’t have to be vertical to do that.
SHAUN HART: He and his partner are next to challenge for those tag titles you and Fred are holding on to.
CHRIS PAGE: And?
SHAUN HART: I’m just saying.
CHRIS PAGE: I saw them in the ring and the last thing I am is impressed. You’ve lobbed us a softball that we are going to knock out of the park.
There’s a knock heard coming from the closed door to the dressing room. Candice gets up and walks over to the door as Chris continues.
CHRIS PAGE: I appreciate you showing concern about me and my well being but I am the last of a dying breed of performers that refuse to be complacent. I’ve spent the last year traveling all over the world, getting into the ring with the best of the best and the worst of the worst. I’ve been incredibly successful and I’ve done some jobs… but the one common that falls in line with it all is that I always show up.
Candice walks back over to the table where she places her hand on the right shoulder of Chris Page as she states.
CANDICE WOLF-PAGE: They’re about ready for you.
Chris tilts his head back up looking at Candice who leans down kissing him on the forehead as Chris squeezes her hand on his shoulder.
CHRIS PAGE: Give me another minute.
CANDICE WOLF-PAGE: Sure.
Candice heads back over and exits the room leaving Chris and Shaun to finish the conversation.
CHRIS PAGE: Shaun, I understand my role within IIW. I am the straw that stirs the drink, and I also understand how much faith you and Osh have put in me to deliver the goods when I tell you that I am the guy that will bring the IIW back to prominence. You’re nervous about next weekend, I understand.
Chris sincerely states.
CHRIS PAGE: Nothing will keep me from stamping my career in this business by catapulting the IIW into a new stratosphere; not Corey Black, not a Death Match.
SHAUN HART: I just don’t understand why you want to put yourself through all that at fifty-two years old when you’ve got such a huge opportunity in the IIW.
Chris responds.
CHRIS PAGE: I am capitalizing on all the opportunities in front of me. When it comes to the hows or the why just know that if I didn’t feel like this wasn’t something that I had to do I wouldn’t be doing it. When it comes to the IIW we’ve built a solid foundation with the Welcoming Committee; Bam, Justin, and Fred are all living up to the massive expectations that we’ve got on our shoulders.
There is a pause from Chris as he then states.
CHRIS PAGE: What you and the rest of the world are going to find out is that nobody outworks Chris Page, nobody.
It’s going to be a long week for sure with the Cannabis Cup running next weekend, the death matches with Corey Black on Sunday, the formality with Zabian on Monday, before moving onto Lissie Hope next Friday. I am going for the trifecta, and I shall attain it. For your sake, you’d better hope and pray that I am hospitalized because a forfeit is about the only thing that is going to see you leave Mayhem with a “W” as opposed to that hard “L” that is on the horizon. It’s going to be entertaining to welcome you to the spotlight, albeit briefly as your brush with greatness ends in about three weeks with yet another loss when the tag straps are on the line. I am not going to waste my time telling you who I am but I’d suggest you not do what so many others have by believing your hype or drinking your kool-aid when you compare yourself to Chris Page. This ends one way… with a Page Plant.
CHRIS PAGE: We just stick to the plan and everything is going to fall into place. We got Osh his company back, we got the Welcoming Committee together, we’ve got the World Tag Team Championship, we got the International Championship, we’re about to have the World Heavyweight Championship.
SHAUN HART: I just don’t want to have to explain to Osh why things didn’t go according to plan.
CHRIS PAGE: You let me handle that if and when that conversation is ever needed.
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Six foot eight inches tall.
A measly two hundred forty-three pounds.
One-Half of the number one contenders for our World Tag Team Championship.
The human slinky himself.
Ladies and Gentleman, Zabian Wells! Let’s hear it for him because he is the next contestant to get his ass handed to him by the true GOAT of professional wrestling. Mr. Wells, you should consider this as an education in what it means to stand in the ring with a living legend in the sport of Professional Wrestling. I am the epitome of what everyone should aspire to be. If everyone had just a sliver of my dedication this industry would be in a much better place than we find ourselves in now. The good news for you is I happen to be a busy man and this contest is coming up at a most inopportune time for yours truly but when life gives your lemons you have to make lemonade.
Where do I even begin with just how fucked you are knowing that you are stepping into the ring with the only man on this roster that has never been pinned nor forced to submit here in the IIW, you’re getting into the ring with the handpicked golden goose of Osh and Shaun Hart, you’re going to be gracing the ring with and get beaten by one of the greatest pieces of talent to ever lace a pair of boots, and if you need any more validation to that statement why don’t you take a stroll down my IIW memory lane which is draped in victory after victory, after victory; and yet you are going to fucking have the balls to stand in front of a camera and think for one second that anyone gives the slightest chance against not only myself… but my fellow Welcoming Committee.
I hate to break the news to you, bud… but when it comes to the ass end of the joke, it’s you who falls into that equation.
I know you and your boy are probably happier than a couple of pigs in shit that you’ve walked into the IIW and within a matter of weeks have earned yourselves a shot at the World Tag Team Champions. Now, under normal circumstances that might be impressive if anyone else other than the Welcoming Committee had possession of the straps. Our time and date have been set, three weeks from tomorrow actually, but before we slit your throats faster than a couple of whores in a snuff flick I will add your name to my single's destruction on my way to the World Title. Now, the downside to all of this taking place so soon before your impending failure at capturing the gold is that when I humble you in front of your partner that both of you will reconsider and not show up when the titles are on the line. When you get embarrassed by my hands I tend not to leave a whole hell of a lot left on the bone, as you’ll come to find out. The first promotional package I sat through lasted four seconds longer than I anticipate you’ll last in the ring with me even if I am coming off the heels of a Death Match not even twenty-four hours prior. Neither of you impressed me with that, so I can’t imagine you’ll do much impressing while being on your own.
This also isn’t the first time I’ll be smacking around someone left half my age.
What I will tell you is one thing that I can say I enjoy doing is getting in the ring with the younger generation because regardless if I want to admit it or not it is that younger generation that is going to be leading this profession when guys like me have finally had enough; and thus far it’s safe to say that the future is rather goddamn bleak. You’d rather play video games or party than learn the business inside and out. Not even half of this generation would have made it back when I was breaking in at your age. As the times have changed the mentality of putting in the work has seemingly become an afterthought when you have the world at your fingertips with a simple tweet. Something that isn’t going to be simple is how I plan on rearranging your face.
I know, I know… I am old.
Shocking news.
Please don’t confuse my age with lack of ability because you will only fool yourself.
I know you’re going to spend the next week trying to figure out what to say or how to say it; seems to be the status quo around these parts. The truth is it doesn’t matter what you have to say or how you try to deliver it because your fate was fucking sealed the moment it was penciled in across from Chris Page! You are going to learn today that none of you can be first but a lot of you can be next… but then guys like you will be last because you’re nothing short of lost causes. Keep your chin up kid, you’ll always be able to say that you got in the ring with one of the bests.
Losing to Chris Page doesn’t mean that you suck.
It just means you’re like everyone else.
The ball’s in your court, kid.