How The NWO Stole Christmas, Part 1
Dec 8, 2022 22:08:20 GMT
Gangsters Of Christ and Kalvin "Kal" Dayspring like this
Post by "Too Sweet" Terry Marshall on Dec 8, 2022 22:08:20 GMT
*The shot opens to a still-frame of “Thundering Terry Marshall ripping his shirt off. *
It has been a while since Terry Marshall appeared in IIW, about one year to be exact Marshall took the Ice Crown Tournament by storm and became everyone's favorite IIW Superstar, even if it was just for a couple of weeks. Marshall moved more merch in those weeks than most people do in a year. Now that Marshall is returning to IIW for another round of the Ice Crown he plans on moving the most merch again, but how will he shake it up? How will Terry Marshall again become the most marketable man in IIW?
A HEEL TURN!
The days of “Thundering” Terry Marshall and his nostalgia act have passed, and the day of the cool heel is in full swing. No longer was he to be known as “Thundering”, from now on he will be known as “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall. Gone is Space Lord, The Space Cowboy, and the Desolator crew. Now is the time of Dark Lord, Madness, and the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders.
*Static pulses across the screen blurring out the picture, and the voice of your totally cool, but old-school narrator changes to a deeper, darker, and sultrier one. *
A HEEL TURN!
The days of “Thundering” Terry Marshall and his nostalgia act have passed, and the day of the cool heel is in full swing. No longer was he to be known as “Thundering”, from now on he will be known as “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall. Gone is Space Lord, The Space Cowboy, and the Desolator crew. Now is the time of Dark Lord, Madness, and the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders.
*Static pulses across the screen blurring out the picture, and the voice of your totally cool, but old-school narrator changes to a deeper, darker, and sultrier one. *
The following announcement has been paid for by the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders.
*The static pulses again and fades to a black and white shot of “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall standing in front of a Christmas tree that is fully decorated with presents all around the bottom of it. *
*The static pulses again and fades to a black and white shot of “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall standing in front of a Christmas tree that is fully decorated with presents all around the bottom of it. *
Ya know dudes it’s easy to tell it is Christmas around IIW because everywhere I look it is HO!
HO!
HO!
And don’t forget Santa's little helpers the Elves.
and
*Marshall holds his stomach for an over-exaggerated belly laugh before snapping back to his sweet stance that some may say is just too sweet. *
I know a lot of you jabronis are shocked by this new look for Terry Marshall. I wasn’t in IIW long enough for the ink to try on my part-time contract before I was the most popular dude on the roster. My popularity only increased after I wiped the floor with Curtis. Speaking of Curtis, I gotta know dude, who do you think you are with the one-name gimmick? Cher? Madonna? Prince? Curtis? Which one of these is not like the other? The answer is Prince because the other three are talent-less pieces of trash with a vagina between their legs.
*Static pulses quickly and cuts to Marshall counting money in front of a fireplace. *
At least you got a first name though dude, old J Mont can’t even afford a first name, all brother has is a single letter. What’s the J stand for, jabroni? Jerkoff? Just a loser? Whatever you wanna say it stands for, make sure it stands for “Just lasting until Terry Marshall gets in the rumble”.
*Static pulses again and cuts back to “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall standing in front of a Christmas tree. *
My old rival Xavier Lux has entered the rumble. Xavier, you’re a lot like herpes, always popping up at the worst possible moment to ruin a good time. Knowing Lux he probably sat on Santa’s lap and said “Dear Santa, I’ve been a good boy, and all I want for Christmas is to win the Ice Crown Rumble”. But you’re lying Lux, you’ve been a bad boy causing trouble in Thunder Pro, being a doormat in XWF, and generally sucking more than Latoya Hixx after three drinks.
*Marshall turns and big boots the Christmas tree over. Marshall grabs a Christmas gift and punts it across the set. Static pulses again and transitions to Terry Marshall letting bits of coal drip from hands. *
I’ve seen a lot of yip yappng, and smack talking, but these fools have been overlooking the real winner of this rumble, ya boy Too Sweet Terry Marshall. Overlook me at your own parallel, or don’t, either way, the result is gonna be the same, Terry Marshall tossing you over the top like a sack oh crap. It’s already a forgone conclusion, that Too Sweet is winning the rumble dude, cause ya boy wouldn’t be leaving the set of his newest movie where I star as Arkon the Magnificent, and if you don’t know that character then brush up on your Marvel you beta-boy NERDS!
I've been looking around at all the bad little boys and girls in this rumble, and it looks like all you jabronis are going to be getting coal in your stalkings this year. People like Apathy, I couldn’t be more apathetic about you being in this rumble. Eddie Charisma, brother, I’m the walking definition of your last name. TCJ, another man with just initials and not a real name, the court jester, or the completely jive-turkey, you can call yourself whatever you want, just don’t call yourself the winner of the Ice Crown rumble. Ryan Hawkins, do you know what you tell a dude with two black eyes? NOTHING, he’s already been told twice.
*Static pulses again for a transition to Marshall holding the gifts from earlier that were under the tree and standing in front of the fireplace again. *
I got all the hopes and dreams of the late entrants like Bobby Mack and Rhett Dawson in my hands, but dudes haven’t you heard, the early bird gets the worm? “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall is coming in at the fourth spot, representing the one man, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse for everyone’s hopes of winning this rumble. What I’m saying dudes is that I’m bringing death and destruction to everyone's dreams of winning the rumble and turning them into a nightmare.
*Marshall turns and throws the gifts into the fireplace. As the presents begin to burn Marshall does another over-exaggerated belly laugh, before snapping back to look at the camera. *
Last year’s Ice Crown was about having a good old time, and I’d have taken that crown home if I hadn’t gotten lost in space tracking down my old pal Space Lord and the Desolators, er, uh, I mean Dark Lord and the rest of the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders. This year is all about taking over and making that money baby.
*Cut to shot of Private Puffy making it rain. Cut back to Marshall fanning himself with stacks of cash. *
HO!
HO!
And don’t forget Santa's little helpers the Elves.
and
*Marshall holds his stomach for an over-exaggerated belly laugh before snapping back to his sweet stance that some may say is just too sweet. *
I know a lot of you jabronis are shocked by this new look for Terry Marshall. I wasn’t in IIW long enough for the ink to try on my part-time contract before I was the most popular dude on the roster. My popularity only increased after I wiped the floor with Curtis. Speaking of Curtis, I gotta know dude, who do you think you are with the one-name gimmick? Cher? Madonna? Prince? Curtis? Which one of these is not like the other? The answer is Prince because the other three are talent-less pieces of trash with a vagina between their legs.
*Static pulses quickly and cuts to Marshall counting money in front of a fireplace. *
At least you got a first name though dude, old J Mont can’t even afford a first name, all brother has is a single letter. What’s the J stand for, jabroni? Jerkoff? Just a loser? Whatever you wanna say it stands for, make sure it stands for “Just lasting until Terry Marshall gets in the rumble”.
*Static pulses again and cuts back to “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall standing in front of a Christmas tree. *
My old rival Xavier Lux has entered the rumble. Xavier, you’re a lot like herpes, always popping up at the worst possible moment to ruin a good time. Knowing Lux he probably sat on Santa’s lap and said “Dear Santa, I’ve been a good boy, and all I want for Christmas is to win the Ice Crown Rumble”. But you’re lying Lux, you’ve been a bad boy causing trouble in Thunder Pro, being a doormat in XWF, and generally sucking more than Latoya Hixx after three drinks.
*Marshall turns and big boots the Christmas tree over. Marshall grabs a Christmas gift and punts it across the set. Static pulses again and transitions to Terry Marshall letting bits of coal drip from hands. *
I’ve seen a lot of yip yappng, and smack talking, but these fools have been overlooking the real winner of this rumble, ya boy Too Sweet Terry Marshall. Overlook me at your own parallel, or don’t, either way, the result is gonna be the same, Terry Marshall tossing you over the top like a sack oh crap. It’s already a forgone conclusion, that Too Sweet is winning the rumble dude, cause ya boy wouldn’t be leaving the set of his newest movie where I star as Arkon the Magnificent, and if you don’t know that character then brush up on your Marvel you beta-boy NERDS!
I've been looking around at all the bad little boys and girls in this rumble, and it looks like all you jabronis are going to be getting coal in your stalkings this year. People like Apathy, I couldn’t be more apathetic about you being in this rumble. Eddie Charisma, brother, I’m the walking definition of your last name. TCJ, another man with just initials and not a real name, the court jester, or the completely jive-turkey, you can call yourself whatever you want, just don’t call yourself the winner of the Ice Crown rumble. Ryan Hawkins, do you know what you tell a dude with two black eyes? NOTHING, he’s already been told twice.
*Static pulses again for a transition to Marshall holding the gifts from earlier that were under the tree and standing in front of the fireplace again. *
I got all the hopes and dreams of the late entrants like Bobby Mack and Rhett Dawson in my hands, but dudes haven’t you heard, the early bird gets the worm? “Too Sweet” Terry Marshall is coming in at the fourth spot, representing the one man, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse for everyone’s hopes of winning this rumble. What I’m saying dudes is that I’m bringing death and destruction to everyone's dreams of winning the rumble and turning them into a nightmare.
*Marshall turns and throws the gifts into the fireplace. As the presents begin to burn Marshall does another over-exaggerated belly laugh, before snapping back to look at the camera. *
Last year’s Ice Crown was about having a good old time, and I’d have taken that crown home if I hadn’t gotten lost in space tracking down my old pal Space Lord and the Desolators, er, uh, I mean Dark Lord and the rest of the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders. This year is all about taking over and making that money baby.
*Cut to shot of Private Puffy making it rain. Cut back to Marshall fanning himself with stacks of cash. *
I’ve been doing this longer than most of you have even been alive. I was winning rumbles while most of you were rumbling in the sack to get to the egg. When you all were in your underoos watching cartoons and eating cereal on Saturday mornings, I was selling out arenas and winning championships. While you all were scrapping together your allowance to pay your down deposits for training school, I was defending world championships and making blockbuster movies. I’ve beaten the best wrestlers of each generation for over four decades and looking at the contestants in the rumble, none of these Ice Crown Jabronies even compare.
I’ve been the biggest star in the sport for over three decades, and now I’m back for run more run at the top. I’m not one to take the long way around either dude, I’m too big of a star to be held down, and I’ll go straight to the top of IIW like a rocket-ship dude. I don’t need fame, money, or respect, because I’ve got that in spades. I’m here to take the title simply because I can. I’ve got fat stacks in the bank, busts in multiple Hall of Fames, and championships on my wall, but too much is never enough, and I’m coming for more, and more, and more. I’m taking the Ice Crown title, then I’m taking the World Championship, and there are two things you can do about it, actually one … NOTHING!
*Marshall begins laughing an evil, maniacal laugh. The camera does a quick and tight zoom into Mashall’s mouth and fades to black. The camera stops rolling and the on-camera portion ends. The black and white fade back to color. Marshall takes a seat in his director's chair preparing to watch back his promo to apply the directorial skills he picked up on the set of “Thunder Bay Bad Boys”, his buddy cop movie with Jim Gaffigan.
Suddenly, Dark Lord, Madness, and the other members of the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders walk onto the set, with Major Evil looking downright giddy. Major Evil runs to Marshall and can hardly contain his excitement as he gives Marshall a status report. *
I’ve been the biggest star in the sport for over three decades, and now I’m back for run more run at the top. I’m not one to take the long way around either dude, I’m too big of a star to be held down, and I’ll go straight to the top of IIW like a rocket-ship dude. I don’t need fame, money, or respect, because I’ve got that in spades. I’m here to take the title simply because I can. I’ve got fat stacks in the bank, busts in multiple Hall of Fames, and championships on my wall, but too much is never enough, and I’m coming for more, and more, and more. I’m taking the Ice Crown title, then I’m taking the World Championship, and there are two things you can do about it, actually one … NOTHING!
*Marshall begins laughing an evil, maniacal laugh. The camera does a quick and tight zoom into Mashall’s mouth and fades to black. The camera stops rolling and the on-camera portion ends. The black and white fade back to color. Marshall takes a seat in his director's chair preparing to watch back his promo to apply the directorial skills he picked up on the set of “Thunder Bay Bad Boys”, his buddy cop movie with Jim Gaffigan.
Suddenly, Dark Lord, Madness, and the other members of the Nefarious Wrestling Outsiders walk onto the set, with Major Evil looking downright giddy. Major Evil runs to Marshall and can hardly contain his excitement as he gives Marshall a status report. *
Mista Marshallll, weee have done much evil.
Oh no, what did you do brother?
MOST CHRISTMAS EVIL!
*Marshall looks at Dark Lord, the former captain of the Desolator Crew, and now Evil Emperor of the NWO. *
What's he talking about dude?
*An evil smile creeps across Dark Lords' face, I mean what other kind of smile would someone named Dark Lord to have? *
Oh no, what did you do brother?
MOST CHRISTMAS EVIL!
*Marshall looks at Dark Lord, the former captain of the Desolator Crew, and now Evil Emperor of the NWO. *
What's he talking about dude?
*An evil smile creeps across Dark Lords' face, I mean what other kind of smile would someone named Dark Lord to have? *
Terry, I know you want everyone to take this Heel turn seriously, so, in support of our Nefarious brother we have done the most heelish thing anyone can do on Earth at this time of lunar rotation.
Brother, I'm afraid to ask.
Follow me, Terry.
*Marshall follows his NWO cohorts out of the studio and onto the Starship Pain (formerly the Starship Desolator), and into the basement of the Starship where the prisoners are kept in quite humane conditions. One of the cells has a giant curtain hanging in front of it, and the Starship Pain crew of Private Puffy, Private Piledriver, Sargent Seagal, Major Evil, and First Mate Rodman. Dark Lord grabs a rope on one end of the curtain and Madness grabs the rope at the other end of the curtain. *
Brother, I'm afraid to ask.
Follow me, Terry.
*Marshall follows his NWO cohorts out of the studio and onto the Starship Pain (formerly the Starship Desolator), and into the basement of the Starship where the prisoners are kept in quite humane conditions. One of the cells has a giant curtain hanging in front of it, and the Starship Pain crew of Private Puffy, Private Piledriver, Sargent Seagal, Major Evil, and First Mate Rodman. Dark Lord grabs a rope on one end of the curtain and Madness grabs the rope at the other end of the curtain. *
OH YEAH, ARE YA READY DUDE!?!
Brother, something tells me I’m not ready.
*”3, 2, 1, SURPRISE!” the NWO all say in unison as Madness and Dark Lord pull their ropes, opening their curtains to reveal Sana Clause locked in a prison cell. Marshall is beyond shocked, he is straight mortified as his jaw drops to the floor and his eyes bulge from his head. *
I TOLD YA! I told ya he’d be shocked, uh huh.
*Marshall slowly turns his head to at Madness, and then slowly again to look at Dark Lord. Marshall then shakes his head, trying to shake himself out of what he thinks must be a terrible nightmare. *
What did you guys do? Did you really kidnap Santa?
Terry, you said you wanted to be the biggest heel IIW has ever seen. So, to support you, we took the Starship Pain to the North Pole and imprisoned the fat man. What better way to become the biggest baddy in the world than to stop Christmas?
*Marshall face palms hard, and then slowly shakes his head. *
Brother no. NO! NO! NO! I wanted to be a cool and edgy heel to sell some fresh new t-shirts, I didn't want to become the most hated man in the history of Christmas. DUDES, think of all the little NWO-a-maniacs who will be waking up to nothing under the tree on Christmas morning, do you think they will buy the shirts and wrestling buddy dolls of the guys responsible for that?
*Dark Lord, Madness, and the Pain crew are all in silence, with Dark Lord even scratching his head in thought. *
Hmm… I suppose you are correct Terry. How shall we remedy this conundrum?
Brother, we gotta get Santa back to the North Pole, this can’t be remembered as the year the NWO stole Christmas.
*To be continued…. *
Brother, something tells me I’m not ready.
*”3, 2, 1, SURPRISE!” the NWO all say in unison as Madness and Dark Lord pull their ropes, opening their curtains to reveal Sana Clause locked in a prison cell. Marshall is beyond shocked, he is straight mortified as his jaw drops to the floor and his eyes bulge from his head. *
I TOLD YA! I told ya he’d be shocked, uh huh.
*Marshall slowly turns his head to at Madness, and then slowly again to look at Dark Lord. Marshall then shakes his head, trying to shake himself out of what he thinks must be a terrible nightmare. *
What did you guys do? Did you really kidnap Santa?
Terry, you said you wanted to be the biggest heel IIW has ever seen. So, to support you, we took the Starship Pain to the North Pole and imprisoned the fat man. What better way to become the biggest baddy in the world than to stop Christmas?
*Marshall face palms hard, and then slowly shakes his head. *
Brother no. NO! NO! NO! I wanted to be a cool and edgy heel to sell some fresh new t-shirts, I didn't want to become the most hated man in the history of Christmas. DUDES, think of all the little NWO-a-maniacs who will be waking up to nothing under the tree on Christmas morning, do you think they will buy the shirts and wrestling buddy dolls of the guys responsible for that?
*Dark Lord, Madness, and the Pain crew are all in silence, with Dark Lord even scratching his head in thought. *
Hmm… I suppose you are correct Terry. How shall we remedy this conundrum?
Brother, we gotta get Santa back to the North Pole, this can’t be remembered as the year the NWO stole Christmas.
*To be continued…. *