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Post by Aiden Cain on Feb 7, 2023 21:29:41 GMT
Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me. Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee. -Psalms 139 7-12
Cold.
That was Aidens first thought as his mind struggled to regain consciousness. Darkness clung around him and his head swam as he struggled to focus. His body ached and he tried to get comfortable, but something held him fast in place. As his mind struggled to comprehend, a horrifying realization came creeping in. He was bound. His arms stretched out to his sides, his feet tied together. His breathing quickened as he tried to break himself free, but it was futile. Then panic began to set in. His brain snapped into reality and he was suddenly acutely aware of where he was. The smell of cold damp earth, of blood and effluence. The feel of the cold stone against his back. He couldnt be here. This wasnt possible. Then he heard the footfalls. Slow steps of heavy boots on hard packed dirt. Then, from the darkness, came a low, gravely hiss. Aiden knew that sound all too well. He screamed, but knew it was no use. The hiss turned into a soft laugh, barely audible. The steps grew closer, and then Aiden felt the hot, rancid breath at his ear.
“How long do you think you can hide from me, child?”
Aiden screamed again as he sat bolt-upright in his bed, his body covered in a sheen of cold sweat. He looked around in a panic, surveying his surroundings, but everything looked as it should. He was home. His modest apartment greeted him as it had most every morning. The flights back and forth were taking its toll on him, he thought, but that was part of what he has signed on for when he took his contract with IIW. Aiden tried to center his thoughts and calm the screaming panic inside of him. Just a nightmare. Nothing more. He grabbed his cellphone off the nightstand and checked the time. Just after 6 am. He let out a long sigh and slumped back into bed. He needed to get up and get himself moving. Anything to give his mind something else to focus on. He crawled out of bed and ran a cold shower. He needed to head to the gym. Mel would get him focused again.
An hour later, Aiden arrived at the small gym, finding Mel mopping the floors in preparation for the day. He gives Aiden a confused look and checks his watch.
Mel: You alright, kid? Awfully early for you…and you look like hell.
Aiden: Yeah, Im fine. Just…couldnt sleep. Figured Id get after it and put my time to better use than just laying around in bed.
Mel: That’s fair. Glad to see the dedication aint wearing off.
Aiden: You kidding me? Im just getting going. Would be kind of pointless to let myself get lazy now. I mean, the last two matches have been waaaay easier then I anticipated. Knox was kind of a pushover, but I guess you cant expect much from a henchman in a cheap cult.
Mel chuckles, shaking his head a bit and leaning on his mop. He looks like he’s about to say something, but Aiden interrupts.
Aiden: Dont worry. Im not counting these up as some kind of sign that I dont need to worry about training. Those guys were barely worth the paper their contracts were printed on. Im still very aware of my place in IIW.
Mel: Dont sell yourself short. You’re new, not bad. There’s a difference. If you werent worth a shit, I wouldnt let you in here at 7 am. Keep at it, and it’ll come. You got all the right pieces. You get your next match?
Aiden: Um, yeah…Another new guy in IIW. Goes by the name Blondie.
Mel: *raising an eyebrow* Blondie?
Aiden: Yeah, I dunno. Seems like someone gave a 80s glam rocker the personality of Deadpool.
Mel: I think Im actually more confused now.
Aiden: He’s pretty big on himself and likes to play the “im breaking the fourth wall” card. I love Deadpool and all, but I guess I just dont get it. Thats not to take anything away from the guy. I saw his debut and he was definitely impressive. He’s in the Keys 2 Success match, so he obviously got the same attention of the higher-ups I did, and…
Mel: And…?
Aiden: *slumps his shoulders slightly and sighs* aaand there’s an entirely real possibility he’s going to kick my ass…
Mel gives the despondent Aiden an odd look, then busts out laughing a moment later, throwing his head back as the sound fills the empty gym.
Mel: God damn, Aiden! I see you’re feeling confident!
Aiden makes a protesting gesture with his hand and stammers to continue
Aiden: I mean…no….
Mel: Holy shit, kid. How long you carrying this on your back for? You spend every match going out there expecting to lose, its gonna start happening more often then not. That’s just a fact.
Aiden lets out another long sigh and stares down at the floor as he falls silent
Mel: Hell, I dont even know where this is coming from. You were nervous before your first match, but you still had some confidence. Youve won the last two matches you’ve had, against men who were bigger then you. Hell, if you wanna go back and look at numbers, both Hunter and Knox should have whipped your ass from corner to corner of the arena by all accounts. But you took them both down, and in rather impressive fashion, and dont think I didnt see that finisher of yours finally make an appearance. I told you that work would pay off.
Aiden allows himself a faint smile and a silent laugh.
Aiden: Yeah…Its just…I dont think this ones going to be the same.
Mel: Well, no shit. Did you think every match you had was gonna be some kinda blowout that you walk away from totally clean?
Aiden: No…
Mel: So what the hells the problem?
Aiden stared out the window. Half was because his thoughts had wandered off. The other half was because he couldnt take the glare of his mentor and trainer any longer. He knew the answer. At least, on a subconscious level he knew. The nightmare flashed in his mind again, already losing its edges as it slipped away into a dark corner of his mind, sure to be revisited later at some inopportune time. He shivered involuntarily as he remembered the cold. His brain struggled to replay the pieces it still had hold on. Cold. Dirt. A hiss. He hated snakes. That sound made his skin crawl. Suddenly, his brain snapped back to reality as his noticed Mel, now standing directly in front of him, snapping his fingers in Aiden’s face.
Mel: Helloooooo? You alright, kid?
Aiden blinked a few times as his eyes tried to focus again, leaning away from Mel reflexively.
Aiden: Yeah, no, Im good…sorry…
Mel squints slightly, studying Aiden.
Mel: You sure you’re okay? You dont look so well.
Aiden: Yeah, really, Mel. Im good. I just need to sit for a second and get some water. Just spaced out a bit, thats all.
Mel takes a few steps back and nods, still looking at Aiden with a little concern.
Mel: Alright…but maybe today lets just stick with some cardio. I dont need you getting dizzy and dropping while you got weight on you. I dont have the time for that kind of paperwork today.
Aiden chuckled and nodded.
Aiden: Yeah, think I’ll just stick to the treadmill today.
Mel: Good plan. Keep your chin up, kid. Just keep pushing like you have and things will work themselves out. Trust the process.
Mel takes his mop back over to his bucket and stuffs it in. He starts whistling to himself as he resumes his mopping. Aiden takes his pack off his shoulder and heads to the back for the locker rooms
Aiden made his way to the back and slung his bag down on the floor next to the sinks, running some cold water and splashing it on his face. His head felt foggy. Had to be the lack of coffee this morning. But that didnt explain the vaguely sick feeling in his stomach. Should have eaten before he came to the gym, he thought bitterly to himself. Nothing worth worrying over now. He was where he needed to be and it was time to put the work in. He picked up his bag and made his way over to a corner with an old metal and plastic chair, going to work at pulling out his gear. He paused as he pulled out the camcorder. Now was as good a time as any, he supposed. He stared at the camcorder as his body went into autopilot, grabbing his water bottle and filling it before taking a long drink and filling it once more. His mind turned to his upcoming match and his opponent. He let his thoughts turn inward, remembering Blondies words to him, and he let it smolder. He wasnt angry, that wasnt the right word, but in spite of the bundle of nerves in him he couldnt seem to shake, he really was growing tired of being thought of as some kind of afterthought. He got a spot in the big match, sure, and it was certainly one hell of an opportunity, but another thought grew. Was it because he was good, or simply because he was there? He hoped Blondie would prove to be some kind of decent measure of himself, for his own sake.
Aiden set himself down on his chair and took a deep breath, pulling all the disparate thoughts in his head into some sort of cohesion. He sighed and sat back, flicking on the camera and began to speak, as our view switches to the cameras recording.
Aiden:Blondie, my fellow up and comer. Sorry for the lack of glitz or special effects or a fancy set here, I dont quite have the budget you do, Im guessing. I thought about waiting until I got to the arena to do an interview but I think that was getting a bit stale and I dont need Mr. Morrison feeding me leading questions to talk. So lets talk about this. You and I are facing off this week. This certainly is going to be a much taller order then what I’ve been up against, but Im looking forward to the challenge. With that being said, I think you got me all wrong. Okay, maybe not all wrong, but lets try and clear the air a bit. First off, you dont know a damn thing about me. About the only thing you got right is Im from a small town in Louisiana. I might have been a Christian boy in the bayou at one point, but its been a few years since I even looked at a bible. Im not going to dive into the details here cause Im sure you dont care, but lets just say I’ve lost the taste for it and leave it at that.
Now before I get to my next point, let me be clear. That little allegorical portrayal you had of me, classic stuff. Well done, seriously. As a fan of the business, I appreciate what you did there. But you pegged me wrong there too. I’ll admit, I still got some nerves to work through. I had hoped I would have worked through them by now, but we both know that my matches thus far cant be any real mark of how I stack up. Im genuinely hoping that you prove to be something more significant. If I roll over you like Knox and Hunter, I might start getting an ego, and thats really not my style if Im honest about it. Im glad you have the confidence you do because Im betting on you being a decent opponent. That being said, this image you concocted of me being some scared little boy crying for his mom? Waaaay off base. Not even close to that one. Again, not going into details, but she’s the last person Im crying for. Dont misunderstand what you see in me. Sure, there’s fear. The usual fear that I assume normal people have of failure. Of coming up short. But Im still here, and Im still going all out when we get in that ring. So the fear doesnt really mean much, does it? Just something else at play in my head, having its own effects on my focus, for better or worse. I can hear your response from here while you’re watching this. “I dont have any fear! I know Im perfect!” I really dont care, and dont want to hear it. I dont care about the bravado. I care about what you can do in that ring.
You talk about me like Im fragile. Like you really think that you are going to come out to the ring and break me in half, casting me aside like so much trash. Like Im paralyzed of fighting you. Like Im just going to fold up and wither underneath the slightest pressure. I hope you keep that mindset. I hope you keep that air of superiority. I hope you write me off and completely underestimate me, because if that happens, you’re going to just be another name on the list. What esteemed company you’ll have with a washed up bum, Michael Hunter, and a cliche henchmen, Knox. How many little half-naked football parties do you think those guys are having? How much time do you think those guys get to spend lying to dying kids? Cute stuff, really. You want to talk about how you dont want to be seen as a bully, but you’re hardly any kind of hero. And that really comes to the cut of things between us, doesnt it? I dont have the attitude you do. I dont have the hangers-on. I dont have the spotlights and the flashy trappings. And you are so desperate for those things, for that constant affirmation that you are something special that you couldnt really care less what the cost is. Thats the real difference. I dont need those things. Thats not what drives me. You, on the other hand, probably cant live without it. If all those things were stripped away from you, you’d shrivel up like a dry weed, to simply be scraped away and forgotten with the next pass of the rake.
Shrug me off, but Im not going anywhere. Im going to be here a long time, and I get the feeling a lot of people are going to be like you as I make my path here. People that want to see nothing deeper then the young fresh face, the kid from nowhere who got a chance to chase a dream as if I was nothing more then a nice, if not a bit cheap and cliche, afterschool special that everyone gets to have their little feel good moment with, their little crumb of dopamine, and then they move on to the next debasement. The next high to chase. Whatever it is. And thats all well and good. Im not here to judge anyone. But Im not the one to ride on. I dont need to sit here and talk about how great I am, or show off any kind of persona, because none of that is me. I accept I am at the beginning, and this match, win or lose, is simply a step. Nothing more, nothing less. You talked about how facing me was going to be like wrestling a pillow. How ironic that this match is equally unimportant to me. Winning here simply proves what I’ve been proving already. It gives me a nice bump of momentum, maybe pulls in a few more eyes to my little sphere. But beating you doesnt get me a title shot. Beating you doesnt change my place in the Keys 2 Success match. It doesnt really change anything. Losing doesnt really change anything. I never held any expectations when I came into this about being some kind of infallible juggernaut. I dont have that kind of stature. So a loss is bound to happen at some point or another. If I lose, I dust off and carry on. No harm, no foul. I get some insight on areas I need to focus on, and I turn my focus forward to the match that matters. You mentioned me being a time filler, and the reality is, thats exactly what you are to me. Im not here for the flash and the fame. Those are great perks to this whole deal, but to me, they are just that. Perks. Look around at my little locker room here. No plush leather chairs. No big-breasted girls in skimpy outfits feeding me grapes or whatever. No big party going on. Just me, preparing myself. Whatever you’ve done in your life thus far, you’ve done enough to give yourself the level of confidence you have. I have an advantage in still being unsure on that front. My self is still forming. My clay can still be reshaped. Now, if you lose to me, thats a much bigger problem for you, isnt it? What happens to you when I win? What toll does that take on your ego? So much talk, so much hype, so much self-service, and all of it just ends up being smoke. That right there is what this all comes down to. You need this win waaaay more than I do at this point. You’ve put yourself up on such a high pedestal and when you fall, its going to be a long, long way down for you. Then you’ll have to walk around down here with the rest of us plebs, and god forbid you get a look, a good look, at yourself in a mirror and get a glimpse of who you really are. Im sure you’ll have some witty retort and nod to the audience about how great you actually are, and these words are all meaningless. Im counting on it in fact.
Like I said, write me off. Keep your head so far up your own ass that you cant see whats going on around you. Keep yourself up there in the clouds and pay no mind to whats down below. Its just going to make me running over you that much sweeter. I dont need to be bigger or stronger. I know what I got in my toolbox, and Im willing to bet its enough. Hell, I dont even need this to be a blowout. I beat you by any measure and you come out looking silly. You couldnt even take down a pillow. How can anyone take you seriously at that point?
Look, Blondie. This isnt some grand spectacle, you and I. As great as you think you are, were both small potatoes here right now. I think we both have great potential to be more, and Im willing to bet this wont be the last time you and I face each other one on one. But lets be real, we arent there yet. Dont run before you can walk, man. Thats a good way to trip, and you wont be fast enough to get back up if I catch you slipping. Im bringing everything I got. I need you to show me what its worth.
Aiden switches off the camcorder and the screen goes black
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Post by Aiden Cain on Feb 11, 2023 11:45:35 GMT
Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; -Romans 12:6-7
The scene opens and we see Aiden at the gym, in a ring with a training partner. A steady flow of rope work, hip tosses, arm drags, locks, holds. Nothing over the top, but a steady, constant flow. Mel watches on from the side, giving pointers and coaching to the flaws in Aiden’s still green style
As the weeks had gone on, there was a growing familiarity of the grind for Aiden. Train, talk, fight, repeat. Despite the anticlimactic matches against Hunter and Knox, he could feel this one was different. Blondie was going to be a bigger challenge for him than anyone he had faced thus far. This was not going to be a quick flurry and a finish. This was likely to be a much more prolonged battle. Underneath the nerves, he felt his resolve hardening. The flow was becoming more natural. He was learning to utilize his speed and agility to set himself up for the next offense. Positioning as he came out of one move and immediately springing into the next. He wasnt sure it would be enough, but he was going to come prepared. There were no guarantees in this business. All he could do was continue pushing himself. Hone himself into the weapon he needed to be once the bell rang.
That was when Aiden felt it. The sickening lurch in his head. The feeling of going over the top of the big hill on a roller coaster, when the bottom drops out on the world and the car plummets back down to earth. The feeling of the churn starting. It started with a misstep. The slightest miss of a mark. Aiden found himself half an inch off the mark he wanted to be on. A split second late on the transition. Like a driver out of control, he struggled desperately to pull the car back onto course, and in that moment, part of him knew it was lost. His brain fought itself between trying to control the chaos and screaming at himself to lean into the skid. Adapt to the new situation and create a new course from there. At that point it was too late, and the damage was already done. The next move transition found him further off the mark, wheeling to set his feet and adjust. His body felt heavy and sluggish. His pulse began to pound in his ears. The world faded to white noise, and everything was lost to the static. He wheeled around once more, far too late to react in any appropriate way, but not too late as to catch an elbow to the jaw, sending him sprawling onto his back.
His head bounced off the mat and world went nearly silent for him, the static now replaced by a high pitched whine, drowning out everything else. He let out a weak cough and blinked a few times, struggling to refocus as he rolled onto his side. He was vaguely aware of Mel in the ring next to him. He could tell Mel was saying something to him, but he couldnt hear him. It hardly mattered now. He knew what Mel had to say without hearing the words. He had gotten careless. Lost in the rhythm, he had let his mind wander and he paid for the loss of focus. Now the toll of the training caught up. Fatigue set in and his limbs were heavy. His lungs felt like they were on fire. Aidens mind played its own mock up of Icarus, flying too high and too close to the sun. The wings melting away in the heat, he had crashed back down to earth. He pulled himself over into a corner of the ring and slumped into it, sitting up against the turnbuckles. His mouth gathered the sticky residuals of saliva left in his mouth and spat contemptibly into the bucket just outside the ring.
Another one of the trainers handed him a water bottle. A rinse, another spit, then a long drink. He let himself sink back into the corner again and tried to gather his thoughts. He looked for something, anything, in the sea of self-defeated anger, the negative talk, the gnawing sense of disappointment, to hold on to. A desperate search for a single piece of flotsam to cling to while the storm passed. He couldnt find one. Nonetheless, his breathing began to slow as he caught his breath and the worlds usual din faded back into clarity. He knew Mel was standing there looking at him, but couldnt yet bring himself to lift his head and look at him. The churn had come again, and nearly swallowed him whole. Another problem to add to his growing stack of them. A few more deep breaths. Another drink of water. He looked up through one open eye at Mel. Mel gave him a disapproving, yet concerned look and tossed him a towel. Aiden wiped his face off and sat in silence. Mel finally broke that silence.
Mel: You alright, kid?
Aiden: Im fine…
The silence grew again, but Aiden could feel the growing displeasure in Mel. That final blow had stung, but Aiden was still intact. “Any one you walk away from”, he weakly tried to tell himself, but the words felt hollow to him.
Mel: Good. So you mind telling me just what exactly the hell that was?
Aiden: I dunno…I slipped
Mel: Dont bullshit me, boy! That wasnt no damn slip! You stopped listening to anything I was trying to tell you minutes ago! I saw that look on your face. You tuned out and went into your own little world. If you were more seasoned, that might not be a bad thing for you, but you dont have that kind of engrained instinct to just check out like that. You’re lucky your dumb ass didnt get hurt.
Aiden: Yeah, I know, Mel…
Mel: And you better check that tone while you’re at it. I dont know whats been going on with you this week, but you’ve been all over the place. This aint the way to get it done. Whatever this brooding, self-loathing shit is, you can leave that in the locker room, cause its got no place here, you hear me?
Aiden stammered for a moment, but submitted
Aiden: Yeah…
Mel: I think thats about enough for today.
Aiden pulled himself up in the corner, protesting as he rose.
Aiden: No, Mel, really, Im good. Just give me a minute to catch my breath and I’ll be ready to go again. I…
Mel: No. You’re done for today. You’re getting sloppy and Im not having you do something dumb because you’re too stupid to pay attention.
Aiden stared blankly at Mel for a moment, as if the words had been a slap to the face. There was a barb to Mels words. Behind the concern and the coaching, there was a sliver of anger. Then the reality of things set in. His body begged him to stop. Take the loss and walk away. The last few days had been a great deal as he tried to ready himself for the next step forward. As usual, Mel was right. Trying to push himself further at this point wasnt a noble act, it was a fools errand. Mel turned away for a moment and waved Aiden’s training partner off, dismissing him from the ring, before turning his baleful gaze back to Aiden and folded his arms across his broad chest.
Aiden: Alright. Im sorry, Mel…
Mel: Dont apologize to me. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Whatever else you do with your day, it aint here. Now hit the showers…
Aiden nodded as Mel turned away, climbing out of the ring. He let himself lean into the turnbuckles a little bit longer for support while he regrouped. This had to get easier at some point, or at least more natural feeling, but that was something that would only come with time, he supposed.
His legs felt like lead as he rolled himself out of the ring. He tossed the towel over his shoulder and began to trudge his way back to the locker room area. A few splashes of cold water on his face and he felt his rattled senses start to settle. The towel in his hands, he slumped himself into his usual seat and buried his face into his hands with a long sigh. His mind drifted, trying to reassemble his scattered thoughts into some kind of cohesive internal narrative. He wasnt sure how long he had sat there in silence. Aiden paid no mind to the soft hiss of the pneumatic hinge from the locker room door, assuming it to be just another member coming and going. It wasnt until he heard the creak of the bench next to him that he recognized it to be the large frame of Mel settling in, and he looked up from his thoughts. Mel stared intently at him for a long moment before letting out a sigh and clapping him on the shoulder.
Mel: Shake it off, kid. Its all part of the ups and downs.
Aiden let the thought sink in a bit as he tried to find the right words
Aiden: Does it ever get easier or is it always going to be like this?
Mel lets out a slow, soft laugh and leans back against the wall.
Mel: Easier? Hell nah. Its a brutal business. You just get used to taking your lumps.
Another moment of silence hung in the air between the two.
Mel: You want to tell me whats going on now, or are you still pretending everything is fine?
Aiden: What are you talking about? I told you Im good.
Mel: I aint talking about whatever was going on out there today. Im talking about the bigger, more general you. You havent been yourself lately. Im not the only one noticing it, either, so you can stop thinking you’re hiding it. You got a terrible poker face, kid.
Aiden: Im not sure I understand what you mean.
Mel: I saw your last promo. Had it been someone else, there might have been some merit to it. But that certainly wasnt you. It was sloppy and unnatural.
Aiden: Oh…
Aiden let out a sigh and leaned back in his chair, letting his head fall back as he stared at the ceiling.
Mel: You let him get under your skin.
Aiden: Excuse me?
Mel: Blondie. Something he said got to you. You let it get under your skin and eat at you. That promo was you lashing out. I must’ve watched that video a dozen times, trying to find you in that whole monologue and you werent there. You were a shadow of yourself. Looked more like a cornered animal lashing out. What happened? I tried going back to Blondies stuff and finding the catalyst, but there wasnt anything there that should have rubbed on you like that. Not enough to warrant that kind of reaction out of you.
Aiden: I dont know…This whole thing has been weird. I faced Michael Hunter, and the dude was a bust. That was a man way past his prime, a man I had looked up to, and I come to find out he’s nothing like what I expected him to be. Somehow that was enough to get me into a major opportunity match? Like I somehow proved there that I belong in the ring with people like Liam Cain or Justin York?
Mel: Aiden…
Aiden: No, Im serious! I went back after the fact and looked at Hunters record. I couldnt find the last time he won a match! So, okay, great, lets just let that one roll off and move on. So then they put me in a match against Knox. Dudes supposed to be some kind of monster and I completely steamrolled the guy. That match was done before it barely got off the ground! That was supposed to mean something?!
Mel: Aiden…Did you ever pause to consider you are better then you are giving yourself credit for?
Aiden stands up, his voice rising with anger.
Aiden: No, Im not done yet! Then we get to this Mayhem. Going up against Blondie. Okay, great. Finally a real match. Finally someone that l can really test myself against. Hell, all my nerves aside, I was looking forward to it. That guy has some talent and I knew this was going to be a damn good match. I knew we could go out there and bring the house down. Instead, this guy cuts some Saving Private Ryan shit and plays me off like im some runty mewling cub! Like Im some kind of fragile child who’s just going to wither! Its all a big joke for him, and somehow, Im the punchline. So you tell me, Mel. How exactly does this all add up? Either Hunter and Knox were noteworthy enough to prove something, or we admit those matches were a joke. It doesnt get to be both ways! So he talks to me, about me, as if Im a scared child, and I try and rise up to to it, step out of my shell a bit. Maybe I need to be hostile. Maybe I need to take some jabs. Apparently I need to do something to prove myself, cause the way things have been going isnt working! But all of that, all of it, and Im still some kind of joke!
Mel looks up calmly at Aiden as he waits for the flash of anger to pass.
Mel: There it is… You done now?
Aiden remains silent. Mel points to the chair
Mel: Sit down, boy…
Aiden: Stop calling me that!
Mel quickly rises from the bench, standing to his full height, putting himself a full head over Aiden, and then some as his expression darkens.
Mel: I. SAID. SIT!!
Aiden slowly sits down, still looking up at the angry giant.
Mel: Now lets get one thing straight, you and I. I been at this since before you were born. To me, you will always be “boy”. Dont get that twisted though, thats got no tone of condescension behind it. You best remember who you’re talking to here, you got that?
Aiden takes a deep breath and nods. Mel stares him down for another moment before sitting himself back down, his features softening. Mel lets out a sigh of his own and continues.
Mel: Now, Im going to take some responsibility for this mess myself. I spent so much time trying to prepare you for the ring, to toughen up your body, that I didnt pay enough attention to toughening up your mind. That one’s on me. But you got to understand something as you progress here. Aint a damn person going to come out preparing for a match and give you respect. Thats not how people like Blondie work. Thats not how most of these people work. You want it to be one way, but its the other way.
Aiden cracks a smile
Aiden: Really? Were going with a Wire reference?
Mel shrugs
Mel: Shoe fits. The point im making is this. Every single person you face is going to try and take those shots at you. Thats part of the game. They’re looking for whatever chink in the armor they can find to take advantage of, and Blondie, to his credit, pegged you dead on.
Aiden: I tried to match it…It just didnt seem to matter…
Mel: Thats your problem, kid. You tried to play the same game, and thats not who you are.
Aiden: Okay, so then what do I do?
Mel: You stay true to yourself. You aint been down some long, hard road in IIW. A little over a month ago, you were getting ready for your debut, all stars in your eyes and hopeful dreams. Now you’re sitting here acting like you’ve been beaten down already. When you first came to me here in this gym, all you wanted was to be there. You werent worried about how things shake down. The day you came in and told me you got that contract, you didnt have a care in the world. It didnt matter how things played out for you. You knew you werent going to just roll over and die. You were all nervous energy, just waiting for a chance to break loose. And your first two matches, you did just that. Thats the Aiden you need to be. You wanted to be in this business, right? Well this is all part and parcel for it. Blondie is just the tip of the iceberg. You let this eat you up now and you’re going to get chewed up real quick.
Mel let the words hang in the air so they had time to set in. Aiden tried to absorb as much as he could. He reached back in his mind and remembered those feelings. Once again, Mel was right. Was he really so desperate for success that he had forgotten why he came here to begin with that quickly? The meaning behind Aidens own words had been true enough. He had always known that losses would come. So why did he carry so much fear of it? Enough fear that he was already starting to lose sight of his own bigger picture. He had already tried to shove his own personality aside.
Mel: Dont let yourself get lost in the forest. Whatever that nonsense was in your last promo was just an ugly shadow wearing your skin, and frankly it didnt suit you. Mayhem is coming, one way or another, and yeah, maybe you go out there and get your ass kicked all over the ring. That dont mean you get to walk around hard pressed with a chip on your shoulder. If you’re already having those feelings, you need to reevaluate what you are doing.
Aiden starts to protest, but Mel holds up a hand to stop him
Mel: I never said you should quit. You need to start listening better.
Mel stands up again and looks down at Aiden.
Mel: Get yourself cleaned up. Take a nice, long, hot shower and get your mind right. Focus on the match and handle your business. However it shakes out, its just another match. Be true to yourself and the rest will follow, yeah?
Aiden nods and hangs his head a bit.
Mel: You’re gonna be alright. If I thought otherwise, I would have booted your ass out of here already. Good luck, kid. I’ll see you when you get back.
Mel gives Aiden a warm smile and a nod before turning away and exiting the locker room, leaving Aiden to his own thoughts.
The scene changes and we find Aiden sitting on the balcony of his modest apartment, letting the sun warm him as he sets up his little camcorder on its tripod. He checks a few settings before letting himself settle back in his seat as the sun warms him. He takes a few deep breaths, letting himself relax for a moment before gathering himself. He sits up and shakes his head and arms a bit, trying to loosen himself up a little as he gets ready. Picking up a small remote out of the cupholder of his patio chair, he starts the recording and our view changes to the camcorders lens.
Aiden: You know, I thought for a long while about how to start this. I tried to find something witty, some kind of clever retort to kick this off, but the truth is, I just dont have it. Honestly, I have to give credit where its due. You did exactly what you intended to do, and you got to me. Thats a valuable lesson for me. So now we come to an uncomfortable spot where I have to swallow my words and say you were right. I am grasping at straws here. I dont have swagger or confidence like that. I made a bad call and let you catch me on my back foot. Im still not sure if Im pissed off about that or not, but we have to roll with the punches I suppose, so I’ll wait until after Mayhem to sort that out in my own head. I guess in the end, I was just hoping for a little bit of respect, but I see now that was just my own naivety.
But now were right where you said we would be. Maybe not for the exact same reasons, but you’re still correct. I go back to my comfort zone and try and work forward from there. I let you goad me into trying to be something Im not, and it backfired in spectacular fashion. You were absolutely right about some things there. My guy Mel said much the same. If I let your antics get to me, Im never going to belong in the ring with the greats. Difference is Im still a ways off from belonging in that place anyways. And yeah, Im going to go back to being mild-mannered, starry eyed Aiden Cain, but not as a service to anyone else but me. I said it last time, I want to be here for my own reasons, and those are my own. I want to have the kind of confidence most of you all carry yourselves with. Problem is that its so blended with arrogance that its hard to tell the difference sometimes, and Im not one for arrogance. You saw it last time, it really doesnt suit me.
The question then is what comes next? How do I move forward? That answer is simple enough on paper. Mayhem comes and we have it out, then after the dust settles, I see where I stand. I go back to my gym, and I start over again. I take whatever lessons I get from all of this and try and use it to better myself. Its not that the match doesnt matter. You were right there, too. Every match does matter. I just have to spend more time reminding myself what exactly that means. A win here, a loss there, but either way we continue. This isnt the end. This is only the beginning. This match wont be the one that breaks me. This isnt my last chance at a legacy, the last chapter of my story. My story is just beginning. If I lose at Mayhem, I still have to sort it out in my head and look forward to the next opponent.
Im sure someone like me is boring as hell to someone like you. Fortunately, Im learning not to worry about that so much. I let myself get focused on trying to make you see me that I forgot that Im not here for you. Im not here to win over the hearts and minds of the locker room. Im here because this is where I choose to be. Im here because this is where I want to be. Im here because I wanted to chase a dream, and because I liked that chase. Somehow, I let you knock the shine off of that, but if were honest, it was probably needed. Im not going to let that bog me down though. You’ve got all your bravado and it works for you. All I can do is just be me, flaws, fears and all. In the end, thats all I have, and Im still learning to be okay with that.
Whatever you think of me as a person, none of that matters anymore. I let myself carry it long enough and its time to let it go. Im going to bring everything I got at Mayhem, just like I know you will. I get the feeling you and I will be putting on a barn burner that people are going to talk about for a long time. In that sense, we both come out a winner. No matter how this plays out, were going to have a lot more people talking about us. Whether or not thats a good thing for each of us respectively has yet to be seen.
We all have to speak our own truths with ourselves, and I have you to thank for calling it out on me the way you did. I’ve got no sense of direction here. Im trying my best to measure up, but Im not going to get there trying to be something Im not. You are going to give me another piece of that puzzle, and then its on me to find where that fits. Im not going to let myself harbor resentment because like I said, Im not doing this for Blondie. You set out to light a fire under me and you certainly accomplished that. You very well may get the better of me, but that fire will still be there and it falls on me to stoke those flames. All I can do is fight like hell out there, hope it measures up, then roll on to the next person who wants me to be the punchline for their jokes. It seems more and more as I watch that constant disrespect is the name of the game around here. Even if I win, its going to be the same song and dance with the next person. They say when you fall into a swift river or get caught in the oceans undertow, the worst thing you can do is to try and swim against it. You just end up dying tired. So Im going to accept this as the nature of things and let myself go with the flow.
I wish you luck out there at Mayhem, Blondie. I really do. Call it cliche, chalk it up to me trying to backpedal, however you want to frame it. You probably arent entirely wrong. If people want to use that as ammo against me in the future, then so be it. I dont hate you. You make me nervous. You make me nervous because youve shown more in one match then I did in two. Plain and simple. You’re a much bigger fight than anything I’ve had in the ring up until this point. You’ve got a lot of talent, and I respect that. Im not writing you off. Im not going to try and talk down to you. Like I said before, this isnt going to be the last time you and I meet in the ring. Funny thing is that Im looking forward to every single one of those matches. I admitted my fear, but that fear isnt you yourself. Its what you symbolize in my path. Its that potential that losing here makes me doubt myself enough to think Im not cut out for this. But courage isnt the lack of fear, its the assessment that something else is more important than that fear. For me, that something is continuing on. You said yourself that our pasts dont matter. Only the match. So Im going to focus on that and hope that I can rise to the occasion. Maybe this is the one that shows me I have more going for me than what I think. Maybe this match silences some of those doubts for me. However you want to frame all this in your own head, you do you. I simply thank you for showing me what I needed to see, and giving me this lesson. If I manage to get a big payday someday, I’ll get you the payment Im sure you’ll want. I’ll be ready for you come Mayhem, or at least as ready as I’ll ever be. Im planning on us stealing the show. One way or another, its going to be a hell of a match.
Aiden holds up the remote again with a smile and a slight nod before clicking off the recording and the screen goes black.
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