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Post by Osh Vaughan on Apr 9, 2024 20:06:17 GMT
Match 3: Jack Me Hoff vs. Hellbreaker - TV Title Match
In a highly anticipated showdown, Jack Me Hoff defends his TV Title against the fierce Hellbreaker. Can Jack retain his championship, or will Hellbreaker prove to be too much to handle?
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Post by jacknmehoff on Apr 14, 2024 3:43:58 GMT
We are taken to a handheld camera backstage shortly after the main event of Mayhem that ended with everyone in stunned silence. Fans are exiting the arena, still in stunned silence, several of them muttering to their friends, "I can't believe he did it," "I thought Liechenberg was going to cripple him," "I know especially after what he said about Annalise." One person who is not walking around like a zombie in stunned silence is the new TV Champion, Jack N. Mehoff.
He is out by one of the exit gates, celebrating as fans leave. He is still wearing his ring gear, and looks like he came right out here from the ring.
Jack: Woooo. I told you all I would do it.
Jack tries to hold up the belt in celebration, but he's in too much pain from the beating Liechenberg gave him to do it and he sinks down onto the ground. Some of the fans start to gather around him.
Jack: I don't care how fucked up I got, the fact that I'm holding this, proves something, and that's if a guy who cuts promos of someone yelling at their dick, a guy in a monkey costume jumping off a building, or a promo of singing lumberjacks getting eaten by a bear on Cocaine can be a champion, than this company really is a joke.
The fans gathered around start to boo.
Jack: Now, I'm off to do what none of these losers are going to do tonight and that's get my dick sucked.
A backdrop, most likely from a middle school production of Frozen, can be seen in front of the most articulately crafted ice throne a local community college ice sculpture class is capable of. Sitting on the throne is a 20 something, overweight neckbeard, wearing a cosplay of the Lich King. A little person wearing a black robe walks into the scene and kneels before the cosplay King.
king: Ah, minion. What news do you bring?
The minion speaks in a raspy, gargling sounding voice.
Minion: Lord Hellbreaker, I bring distressing news of your next opponent my lord.
Lich king: Bah. I am the man who ripped up the Blueprint and slayed... that smart guy who went to college? Does he have anything distinguishing him beyond that? Bah, who could be worse than that? The Spot Monkey? The Buffet Breaker Ed Stoker? The Jolly Juggalo Gemini? The Cocaine King Trigger Cavanagh? None shall stand against me.
Minion: My lord, I'm afraid you must face, Jack N. Mehoff.
A look of pure terror hits the kings face.
King: Not him,..... the Dragon Porn.
Epic music starts playing and the camera cuts to a shot of guy wearing bad ass armor made from dragon bone (or a 3d printer) and a helmet, walking through a thick fog in slow motion. He removes his helmet and it is Jack.
Jack: Yes, I am the one feared by cosplay nerds everywhere. I am the destroyer of wrestling promotions. The human butt plug because I'm a pain in the ass. The man who blew a load on the TV title belt. The Bitch Tamer, and the man wrestling promoters fear. I am Jack Mehoff. THE DRAGON PORN.
Lightning strikes behind him as he holds up his sword. Then the special effects fade away and it's revealed Jack is at a Renaissance festival. People are walking around, visiting the shops and displays, most of them wearing costumes on this bright sunny day.
Jack: See Hellbreaker.... I can't even say that name with a straight face. And this is coming from Jack Mehoff. I'm just going to call you Kevin. See Kevin. You're really no different than any of these losers. Dressing up, pretending to be a king, pretending to be a wrestler.
Jack stops and stairs into the camera for a second before he continues walking. He walks past a street performer, juggling flaming torches. Jack bumps into the guy, causing him to miss catching one, and lighting his forearm on fire. Jack continues walking, completely ignoring the guy on fire and the ruckus behind him.
Jack: So, Kevin. I tried doing a little research on you, and wasn't able to find out very much about you. I don't know if it's because you sent the IIW webmaster your Dungeons and Dragons character sheet instead of a resume, or if it's because the people running the site think so little about you they can't be bothered. Frankly, judging by how they can't even spell my name right, I'm inclined to believe they may be incompetent.
Jack walks past a knight in full suits of armor, casually reaches into his pocket and sticks a refrigerator magnet that says "I <3 Jack N. Mehoff" on the back of the knight.
Jack: So Kevin, you have to be thinking to yourself, "This is my shot. I've got a match for the TV title. This is my chance to win gold." We'll, you've got two problems there. First of all, the people running this company are throwing you at me, hoping to put a stop to me. What do you think they're going to do to you when you fail?
Jack continues to casually walk through the festival and walks past a booth where people are throwing axes. Jack picks up an ax and continues talking.
Jack: Or worse yet. What's your future hold when I horribly embarrass you? Look at TJ Alexander and how everyone views him as a spot monkey. Look at Liechenberg and how Blue Chew is trying to sign him to an endorsement deal. What does your future hold? Judging cosplay contests at comic cons?
Jack casually throws the ax he's been holding. A second later, someone from off screen screams and Jack continues to walk.
Jack: Second. You're not competing for the IIW Television championship. I decided to do a little rebranding. I'm not going to spoil it here, but there is going to be a huge announcement at Mayhem.
Jack comes across the set from earlier with the Frozen backdrop and the ice thrown. The "Lich King" is still sitting on his frozen throne.
"Lich King": About time you got here. I've been sitting on this uncomfortable thing so long my balls have gone numb.
Jack: Whatever.
Jack walks over, grabs him, throws him off the throne, and kicks him in the butt as he crawls off. Jack goes to sit on the throne before looking into the camera.
Jack: He's right, this thing sucks. How the heck does Kevin sit on this thing?
The scene fades out.
Inside a van. It's a bit unusual. The man sitting in the back of the van looks around, he's in a straight jacket, can't move, and can't remember, or at least vividly remember being outside Eloise Asylum. The two orderlies are sitting in the front. He knows them. One of them, the one with red hair, every time he sees him, he feels an urge to punch him in the face. The first time he saw him, he tried pushing him around.. It took a whole lot of people to pull him off of him, and since then he's kept his distance. The other one, with blonde hair, always acted nice if not completely scared anytime he came near.
Today though, the cocky one, the one driving seems extra cocky, while the other one seems even more nervous. He keeps looking back at him, and the two men are talking. He can't understand a word they're saying, but the cocky one is trying to convince the nervous one of something.
They drive like this for 20 minutes, into a part of a big city that is filled with derelict buildings. They pull up to a old building that looks like a abandoned store. Both orderlies step out of the van and open the back. The nervous one tries talking to him, but he can't understand him. There are several cars outside this building and they start walking toward a door. They walk inside and there is a crowd of people surrounding two men fighting. Something about this seems familiar to him.
The two orderlies bring him over to another man. There's something about this man he doesn't like. If he wasn't in a straight jacket, he would try to punch this man. The cocky orderly talks with this man and hands him a wad of cash. The man he gave the money to smiles and the orderlies push him towards the crowd of people.
Something about this feels very familiar. The orderlies take the straight jacket off of him and he is able to move. He looks across the ring of people, and there is another man standing across from him. He has a shaved head, looks about as big as him, and has tattoos covering his arms.
This tattooed man is talking to him. Does he know him? He puts his head forward to try to hear this man over the yelling from all the people around him. The tattooed man pulls his arm back and punches him in the jaw. He falls backwards and the crowd cheers. The orderlies shove him onto his feet again and push him towards the other man. The tattooed man punches him in the stomach, causing him to double over then punch him in the nose, breaking it. He falls to the dirty ground. His blood starts to fall over his face and he remembers something.
He has a flashback to being in an environment like this. He's on an elevated platform surrounded by barbwire. He looks over in the corner and he sees HER.
She's been in his dreams since he woke up, but he could never see her face. He remembers her name. Eva. She looks at him and yells. He understands her.
Eva: SNAKE. GET UP AND FIGHT!!!
He gets to his feet and the crowd goes silent. The tattooed man has a shocked look on his face. He balls his hand into a fist and punches the tattooed man in the jaw, staggering him. The crowd goes wild as he throws his arm out and knocks the tattooed man to the ground with a lariat. He drops to a knee behind the man and wraps one arm around his head, and sticks his thumb in the tattooed man's carotid artery. He fights for a few seconds, but quickly falls unconscious.
He looks around, trying to see if she's still there or if he only imagined her. He has to find her. He lets go of the tattooed man, but the orderlies try to stop him. He punches the nervous one in the face, knocking him out. He rears back to hit the cocky one before he feels something on his side. He looks down and sees a drug needle in his arm before he feels everything start to go black.
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Post by jacknmehoff on Apr 20, 2024 2:24:55 GMT
We are taken to the parking lot of the IIW main office. It's a bright sunny day out. There's a slight breeze in the air, and it really feels like spring is coming. Walking in front of a row of cars, despite not wearing the belt, is the IIW TV Champion, Jack Mehoff.
Jack: It's come to my attention, that someone has been hurling some disturbing accusations my way. Evidently, Liechenberg is unable to accept a loss like a man, and is taking the Donald Trump approach. He's accusing me of Misdemeanor Willful and Malicious Destruction of Property. He's accusing me of slashing Annalise's tires. As if having her at ringside would have made any difference. Seriously, what would she have done?
Jack walks past a brand new black Ford F150 parked in a spot with a sign saying "Reserved for Osh Vaughan" All 4 tires look like they've been slashed. Jack stops in front of it.
Jack: Well what the heck? It looks like someone slashed the tires on Osh's car too. Has this happened to anyone else on the roster? What sort of sick person would do this?
From off screen, someone screaming can be heard. Charlie Schmidt comes running up to the truck with a upset look on his face.
Charlie: My truck. What the fuck?
Jack: Your car? This is your truck? I thought this was Osh's.
Charlie: No, Osh is off today. I just took his spot because I didn't want to walk. What sort of sick freak would do this?
Jack: I think I saw two kids walking away laughing. One was wearing a black AC/DC shirt and the other was wearing a blue Metalica shirt.
Charlie reaches into the back of his truck and pulls out a tire iron.
Charlie: I'm going to kill those tire slashing little shits.
Charlie goes running off, and Jack walks further down the parking lot.
Jack: Bunch of savages in this town. So, Liechenberg, I understand you weren't a huge fan of that ring intro I had Alice Goldier give. And boy, it makes perfect sense going after a poor woman just doing her job as opposed to the asshole who wrote it. If you're threatening a ring announcer over saying I've been up Annalise's ass multiple times, you better stay off the companies Twitter page pal. I will never call it "x."
Jack reaches into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone.
Jack: Let's see what people online are saying about Liechenberg and Annalise. Twitter user @mountainriver says "What's the deal with Annalise and Liechenberg? Are they a couple? If she's got him in the friend zone, no wonder he always has such a sour look on his face.
Next up is @fangirlofshayne tweets: "Annalise deserves a real man. I hope she gets one soon." User @yermahips says: "Annalise has an ugly face." User @thehorse whisperer says: "I wonder what kinky shit Liechenberg and Annalise are into? You know Germans are big into sh*t porn." User @jmehoff69 liked that comment and wrote "Even I'm not sick enough to mess with that stuff. But I can confirm I've heard rumors." @pizzapizzarocks says "I've heard Annalise has had more promoters in her than the ECW Arena."
Jack puts his phone away.
Jack: So, Liechenberg, what are you going to do after hearing that? Find "Pizzapizzarocks" go to his house and kick his ass? Walk into Elon Musk's office and threaten to kick his ass? Or maybe you'll focus on the guy you really have a problem with.
Now I imagine some people are sitting there wondering why I'm spending so much time calling out Liechenberg? Why I'm not focusing on my next opponent. Well that's because Kevin aka Hellbreaker hasn't been seen all week. Hey Kevin, where are you? Playing with your short sword? Polishing your cod piece? One way or another, I guarantee, after this match the ice King will melt from the flames of the Dragon Porn.
Jack snaps his finger and the parking lot goes black around him. The theme from Skyrim starts to play and fog starts to fill the dark screen. Jack walks through the fog wearing medieval armor.
Jack looks toward the camera and swings a battle ax as the camera cuts out and goes to black.
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Post by HELLBREAKER on Apr 21, 2024 8:51:29 GMT
The scenery opens with a frozen castle somewhere on the mountain tops.
The interview makes his way to the castle.. Slow and steady because the icy wind makes it difficult to see and breathe.
Once inside the castle the atmosphere doesn't really change that much, but as the interview approaches the great hall, the heat becomes more bearable.
The door swings open and the crew follows alongside the interview into the great hall.
Hellbreaker sits on his throne as the crew approaches closer.
Hellbreaker stands up and slams his sword on the ground.
BOW MORTALS AS THY APPROACH THY KING.
The interviewers and the crew falls down on the knees as Hellbreaker begins to speak
Now, what is it thy business with me?
The Interviewer raises his head and begins to speak
Hellbreaker, I mean, my lord. what is your thoughts on the upcoming match between you and Jack Me Hoff?
Hellbreaker slowy sits back on his throne while his grim fades away into a dark mood.
After a while Hellbreaker scream
IS THIS THE REASON YOU CAME ALL THE WAY HERE? I EXPECTED AT LEAST A BETTER QUESTION!
Hellbreaker stands up again and grabs his sword
IF YOU CALL ME BY MY REAL NAME ONCE AGAIN I WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD YOU HEAR ME? FOR NOW I WILL SPARE YOU BUT I WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION
Yes, I am well aware that I have to face Jack Me Hoff, and I am well are that it will be a difficult task, yet, bigger foes have fallen before me and this so called person won't be any different. the outcome will be the same. My hand will be raised high.
I am also aware of the abilities from Jack, He's a star. He's the future of this very business. Which will why I will end his reign. His title is all what matters.
Somehow him and I are alike in a way. We both fight for our own destiny. We both fight for destiny and glory. So that means that this battle will be legendary.
I will not misjudge or misunderstand or take my opponent lightly.
What I do know is this. He has something that matters me...
The interviewer raises his head once again and says
What is it my lord?
Hellbreaker smiles.
You already know this. It's the Television Championship. I know in professional wrestlings things are different than up here. If I don't get my way here I will kill my opponent. However, in the art of professional wrestling I must pin or submit him. SO BE IT.
Hellbreaker walks towards the camera and reaches out very close.
Jack
I know you're watching this.
I don't care what will happen during our battle.
But one thing I do know...
I will be the one to end your reign!
The camera fades to black as Hellbreaker smashed the camera in half with his sword.
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