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Post by Osh Vaughan on Jun 3, 2024 21:03:57 GMT
Match 8
Jack Me Hoff and Curtis vs [FWO]
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Post by jacknmehoff on Jun 11, 2024 21:06:04 GMT
 Casimir Laska's guest staring on Barney and Friends will not be shown tonight, so that we can bring you the following.
We are taken to Jack's dressing room, backstage at Mayhem, shortly before Jack's Brazzers title defense against TJ Alexander. Jack has his gear on and is taping his fists. Eva opens the door and walks in, and she does not look healthy. Her skin is white as a ghost, the veins in her face look black, her eyes are sunken, and she looks shaky on her feet.
Jack: What the heck happened? Are you ok?
Eva stumbles over to a chair and sits down.
Eva: I had a vision.
Jack gets a upset look on his face.
Jack: More like you put more of that toxic crap in your body and now, I don't have you out there watching my back, like I need you.
Jack is about to walk off, before she grabs his arm.
Eva: No. I saw what happens. You don't need a broken down valet. You need someone you can trust.
Jack: Yeah. Someone I can trust. I thought I had that, but evidently I can't trust her to be there when I need her.
Jack goes to storm out of the room.
Eva: Jack. Trust me.
Jack stops for a second and looks at her before he walks away.
30 minutes later.
We are taken backstage to Jack's locker room. Jack and Curtis burst into the room, celebrating. Jack is bleeding from the head, but doesn't seem to notice.
Jack: Dude. I'm so glad you're back.
Curtis: I wanted to surprise everyone. I told Osh I would only return if I could work with you
Jack: Wow, thanks man.
Curtis: It was a lot of fun last time.
Jack: With the way I talked about you in my last promo and you showed up. That's crazy.
Curtis: Oh darn. I didn't even know that.
Jack looks over at Eva, who still looks horrible, but has a smile on her face.
Eva: It's like I told you Jack. Blood never lies.
She runs her finger over the wound on Jack's head, then licks her finger. Curtis looks on with a bit of a disgusted look on his face.
Curtis: I'm pretty sure that's not very hygienic. In fact, doing things like that might be why you look really sick. Should I have Miss Agatha make some chicken soup for you?
Eva: It's nothing a few celebratory drinks won't solve. Let's go to Dave and Busters to celebrate.
Curtis: Oh boy. Skeeball.
A few days later.
We are taken outside JM Studio in Los Angeles. The sun is shining, there's a light breeze, and protesters are holding signs and chanting outside the front door. The protesters are members of PETA and seem to be led by a pissed off looking Karen.
Curtis walks up, with a confused look on his face. He gets equally confused looks from the protesters, probably because he's wearing black motorcycle boots, black pants with the letters LOD written on the sides, red football pads with black spikes on them, a mohawk wig, and face paint to look like Animal from the Road Warriors. He walks up to the angry Karen, yelling into a bullhorn.
Karen: We will not be silenced. We speak for the animals that can't speak for themselves.
Curtis: Excuse me miss.
The lady stops yelling toward the roof and instead points the megaphone directly in Curtis's face.
Karen: WHAT?
Curtis takes a few steps back, shaking his head, trying to regain his senses. Karen doesn't seem to concerned about any hearing loss Curtis may have suffered.
Curtis: Sorry mam, but what's going on?
Karen: Me and my PETA brothers and sisters are out here protesting a creep who assaulted two animals for his own amusement on TV.
Curtis: If you're talking about the groundhog and spot monkey, I'm pretty sure they were just people in costumes.
Karen: That's besides the point. It's more about what his actions represent. And what's worse, when we brought our concerns to this man, in a civil manner, he responded by laughing at us then started holding a party on his roof where he's cooking the flesh of our animal brothers and wearing their skin. And what's worse, he's displaying it for us to see, taunting us with his vulgar displays.
She motions to a TV set up in a window of the office building. The TV is displaying a huge party happening on the roof. Everyone at the party is either dressed like a furry, or a hot girl wearing sexy bunny, cat, beaver, whatever costumes. There's a lot of dancing and drinking and loud music and lots of women. He looks around, there's a large sign in the window that reads ‘Welcome to Furry Fest’ written on it, in big red letters.
Curtis: And having a BBQ and costume party are a bad thing?
Karen: Yes, and let me tell you why.
From behind them, Eva walks up wearing a white fur coat that looks like she splattered blood on it and a wooden Kitsune mask. The Karen sees Eva.
Karen: You have a lot of nerve miss.
The Karen walks up to Eva. Eva removes her mask. The Karen goes to say something. looks at her, and stands there in stunned silence. Eva breaks the silence by screaming in the ladies face. She jumps back several feet, falling flat on her ass, giving Eva space to walk through.
Curtis: Excuse me, Miss Eva. What's going on here?
Eva looks at Curtis for a second
Eva: Haven't you heard? We're throwing a party.
A few minutes later, Eva accompanies Curtis to the roof of the studio. Just like he saw on the TV outside, the attendees for the party are either all wearing furry costumes, or hot chick's wearing sexy animal costumes. The guests are partying on tables and chairs, or sitting around eating and drinking. Everyone is laughing. It looks like a wild party, full of drunkenness and sexual activity. Eva spots porn star Vickie Vixen, wearing a black latex costume based of Michelle Pfeiffers Catwoman, and runs up to her and they hug.
Curtis: So, Eva who's your friend?
Completely ignoring Curtis Eva lifts her mask and, the two women kiss on the mouth and start making out.
Curtis: Ok, I guess you two are really good friends. i had no idea you were friends like that. I'll just go mingle.
As Curtis walks around, he comes across a grill, cooking a whole pig and cooking veal cutlets. A large industrial fan is blowing off the grill, pointed towards the protesters on the street. Manning the grill is a guy dressed like Pepe Le Pew, the skunk from Looney Toons.
Peppe: Curtis. Glad you could make it.
Curtis: Sorry, do I know you.
The skunk takes his head off to reveal that he is The Brazzers Streaming Champion, Jack N. Mehoff (or if you go by the IIW Champions page, "Jack M (biohazard symbol) Off"
Jack: Why the heck are you dressed like that?
Curtis looks down at his costume.
Curtis: You sent me a text that said to show up "wearing an Animal costume."
Jack lets out an exasperated sigh.
Jack: I guess I'm lucky you didn't show up with a green tongue and eating a turnbuckle.
Curtis: Now that would be just silly. So, what's going on here?
Jack: Well, I heard that an animal protection group was upset with me for kicking a gorilla and a groundhog in the face, and the last thing I want to do is offend people. I can't stand the thought that someone would think that I don't appreciate animals.
Behind them, the Spot Monkey, with his mask half off, walks by drinking a beer.
Jack: I want to show them that their assumptions are anything but true. That's why I gathered several of my friends and coworkers together to prove them wrong. We are out here showing them that we love animals to eat. We're showing our appreciation for animals in what we're wearing. And I'm even broadcasting it to them so they can see for themselves how much I love animals.
In the background, a drunk Spot Monkey stands by the ledge, unzips his suit, and starts pissing off the side of the building, onto the screaming protesters.
Curtis: That's horrible. I can't believe anyone would think that of you.
Jack takes a knife and starts cutting pieces of pork off the pig.
Jack: I know, I can't believe they think I don't appreciate animals.
Jack stabs the knife into the pigs head. He picks up a large plate full of meat.
Jack: Will you hand me that jug of sauce? Be carefull though. That's Naga Viper Sauce.
Jack points to a jar placed precariously on the side of the roof. Curtis accidentally hits it with his arm and knocks it off the roof.
Curtis: Oops.
A few seconds later a scream comes from the ground where the protesters are. The screams are loud enough to be clearly heard from the roof.
Protester: Arhhh. It got in my eyes. It burns. It burns.
Jack and Curtis stand there for a second looking down. They turn around and Curtis has a guilty look on his face.
Jack: There's times I wonder about you. I know you always try to be a good guy, but there's times like with how you accidentally hit TJ Alexander, where I can't help but wonder if you subconsciously try to get a little mean.
Curtis looks like he's considering what Jack is saying when Larry Fishburg walks up. Jack and Curtis just stop dead and look at him. He is wearing his usual suit, except he is covered in yellow paint.
Jack: Um, Larry. Why are you yellow?
Larry: Because evidently, those protesters down there didn't like the fact I'm wearing a wool suit jacket. Can we just get this interview over with?
Curtis: Of course Larry. Anything to help out.
Larry's camera man gives the signal that they are rolling.
Larry: Hello IIW. Larry Fishburg here with Curtis and Jack M Hoff. Collectively known as.... sorry. Do you guys have a team name?
Jack: As a matter in fact we do. Collectively, we are known as TDP. Team Donkey Punch.
Larry gets a disturbed look on his face.
Larry: Team Donkey Punch? How the heck did you arrive at that name?
Curtis: We decided on the name after Jack taught me how to do the move on a homeless person.
Larry: You beat up a homeless person?
Curtis: I felt a little bad about it at first, but after he pooped his pants, I gave him some money to buy some crack and he seemed pretty happy.
Larry: I'm speechless Curtis. I never would have suspected that from you.
Curtis: I know. I had some Crack for breakfast.
Larry: You had crack?
Curtis: Yeah. It's what me and Jack call Cracker Barrel. Their biscuits and gravy are addicting.
Larry had a relieved look on his face.
Larry: Ok, so moving on. You two are facing off against the FWO at Mayhem. What's going through your minds.
Jack: First I've got to say, calling yourselves the "Fletch World Order?" Here I thought I was being dirty by sneaking in a move called "The Donkey Punch" but these guys take it to a whole new level.
Curtis gets a confused look on his face.
Curtis: I thought you named the move after Donkey Kong's wind up punch from Smash Bros.
Jack: I did man. I did. But these two guys. I have to give them credit for sneaking a reference to fletching into their names.
Curtis: Really? All these years I thought they were just huge fans of the Chevy Chase movies. What is fletching?
Jack types something in his phone and hands it to Curtis.
Jack: Here's the definition from Urban Dictionary.
Curtis starts reading it and his eyes go wide. He runs over to the edge of the building and throws up over the side. Curtis walks back over after a second.
Curtis: Why would they name themselves that?
Jack: Some sickos just enjoy slipping dirty jokes in anywhere they can.
Jack gives the camera a knowing look.
Curtis: Regardless, if they're into that sort of thing, I support people who engage in that type of lifestyle, especially during pride month. Me and Jack are both proud supporters of the LSBTQ community.
Jack: I'm especially a huge supporter of bisexual women.
Curtis: And we both hope that win or lose, the FWO and everyone else have a happy pride month.
Jack: But regardless of how the FWO identifies themselves, after Mayhem, they'll be identifying themselves as the loosers.
Curtis goes to say something before Jack jumps back in.
Jack: Ok, as the guys who didn't win.
They nod toward the camera as the scene fades to black.
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Post by Curtis on Jun 13, 2024 1:23:29 GMT
The scene opens to Curtis sitting at the end of a pier overlooking a large body of water. He is dangling his feet in the water below the dock. He is staring out over the water. His phone rings. It's a facetime from Agatha. Curtis answers.
Curtis - Hey Agatha. How are you doing?
Agatha - I'm good Curtis but we have all been worried about you. We haven't heard from you since you left last week to show up at Mayhem.
Curtis - Everything went according to the plan. Osh may have done everything in his power to stop me from returning to IIW but it just wasn't enough. When you have heart and determination nothing can stop you.
Agatha - That's so awesome Curtis. I still can't believe that Osh was able to get you placed on the no fly list and get your passport seized. I didn't know he had that power.
Curtis - Osh is the most powerful man I have ever known. You should have seen the stuff he has done to people over the years. I just never thought he would do it to me. Someone he used to call his son. But try as he might, he wasn't able to keep me away from the IIW forever. I kept fighting and made my move when I got there. The IIW is my home and I would have fought till I was no longer able to get back home. Osh is strong but I am stronger. I'm back in the IIW now and there is nothing he can do to stop me anymore.
Agatha - Good Curtis that's what we all wanted to hear. So you made your return where you were able to help Jack?
Curtis - I was. It was chaos out there last Week and thankfully I was there to save Mr Jack who was in the ring bleeding. He would never say how much it meant to him but when I looked into his eyes when he was down in the ring I knew.
Agatha - That's amazing news. Weird sure but still amazing.
Curtis - Yes that part was amazing. But after I checked on him I picked up the bat that was used to hurt Mr Jack and when I was going to toss it out of the ring I tripped on my untied wrestling boot and accidentally hit TJ Alexander over the head. He went down hard. Agatha I feel so bad.
Agatha - Wait…….. you wanted to get the bat out of the ring But somehow managed to hit someone in the head and cause serious injury.
Curtis - Yes. In my haste of rushing to get to the ring to help my best good friend Mr Jack I must have loosened my boot laces, or maybe I never fully mastered the loop swoop and pull technique. Whatever the case is, a man is in The hospital and it's all my fault.
Agatha - Meh that man is TJ Alexander who really cares.
Curtis - I really care.
Agatha - Let's look at things from a different view point. After months of being locked out of IIW you snuck in and made a huge return. In the process Someone got hurt. Curtis, that's not the worst thing. Tj is a clown. He will get better. Who cares if you hurt him.
Curtis - Again Agatha I care. I sent him flowers to the hospital.
Agatha - Of course you did. I'm sure that went over swimmingly and he didn't immediately throw them away.
Curtis - I know this is wrestling and things can happen but when I'm The cause of them it really bothers me.
Agatha - Everyone knows the risks when they step through those ropes. Same as you do Curtis. To me it seems like an unavoidable work place accident. You didn't mean to hurt anyone. Intent in a really big part of things Like this. Mistakes happen.
Curtis - That's exactly what Jack said. But like I told him someone got hurt because of me and unavoidable or not I still feel awful. You all know how my mind and heart work. Because of my Actions there is a man in the hospital.
Agatha - Curtis I've said it a ton before but you're too kind for this world. If you hadn't gotten to that ring when you did to save Jack who knows what would have happened to him. Yes someone got hurt but it could have been far worse if you didn't intervene.
Curtis - Yes that's true.
Agatha - I know it's hard for you but you can't dwell on this. After all the hurdles Osh threw at you, you're back in the IIW where you belong now. It's been a long road but you fight has paid off and it's time to remind the world that yeah you're a good person but you shouldn't be messed with. You and Jack are a force to be reckoned with.
Curtis - We absolutely are. There is no friendship greater than ours and it definitely translates into the ring. No one in the IIW can stop us.
Agatha - That's the mindset you need to have. When you get a tag team match you can put this Tj mess out of your head and focus on that.
Curtis - Then I am glad to tell you we got booked for next Mayhem.
Agatha - Wow that was really quick. Even for a minute man like Osh.
Curtis - I'm sure it's designed as punishment but jokes on them I'm really excited for the match. Anytime I am given the opportunity to get into that ring showcase my talent and stand alongside my best friend and prove to the world how dominant we really are is a chance that I'm gonna take regardless of the circumstances.
Agatha - You are right, Curtis punishment or not. Whatever it may be you will get to do what you love best in the house that you helped build. Who are you facing?
Curtis - The FWO. And before you ask, it does not stand for Fantastic Wrestling Organization like I originally thought that it did. It also does not stand for fresh world order. It stands for Fletch world order and please do not make me explain what that is. It's gross and made me sick when I heard. Also adding a W O to the end of your team name just feels lazy to me. Honestly, there have been so many world order rip offs that it's laughable at this point. If you're not going to be original in any capacity, then what's the point of even really doing all of this? All they are really trying to do.Is cash in on an already proper popular intellectual property?And hope no one would really notice or say anything about it. That just doesn't seem fair to me. It would also lead me to believe you're not only lazy at naming things but you're lazy wrestlers in the ring. Jack filled me in on these guys and They could be a really big deal if they put their heads down and focused. They don't seem to take this very seriously at all. They are going to learn very quickly That I am not someone to underestimate or not take seriously.
Agatha - Curtis I am sensing some edge to your voice. Compared to your happy go lucky normal attitude I have to say I love it.
Curtis - Oh no there is no edge to my voice at all. I want to wish The FWO all the luck. I want them to be at the top of their game in that ring with us. All 4 of us can come out of this match.Better wrestlers and people then we were prior to that bell ringing.
Agatha - Always trying to help people Curtis.
Curtis - You know it, Agatha. The FWO are Just friends I haven't gotten to meet yet. Like Mr Wayne and Mr Jack. I am not going out there to try and hurt the FWO at all. From what I have been told they are 2 lost men who need help finding joy. They have lost their way if you will. I am here to offer them a helping hand and work with them to become the best versions of themselves they can be.
Agatha - Curtis that mentality won't win you guys the match. You need to dig deep and work hard.
Curtis - I'm not worried about that at all. I want them at their best but whatever their best is we are better than that. Mr Jack and I are firing on all cylinders. Plus hard work and dig deep are my middle names. Don't you fret at all.
Agatha - How? You guys haven't teamed together in like a year. Since FTW closed right.
Curtis - Yes that's true we Mr Jack and I haven't teamed in a while but we have been spending all our free time together since I returned. I am not worried at all Mr Jack and I will be fine. He even took me to a really cool party where everyone dressed up as really cool furry animals. I had a blast there and met so many awesome people.
Agatha - Oh no Curtis you really don't really want those people as friends.
Curtis - Sure I do. They are really nice and super creative.
Agatha - Yes but they are……..um……..how do I say this. ECCENTRIC that's it. They are eccentric and you don't need those people in your life. You're far too gullible.
Curtis - I am not. Do I always stop and eat at a restaurant that claims to have the world's best anything? Yes I do. Do I always buy the extended warranty on things? Yes I do. Have I tried to help multiple Nigerian princes? I have because You know what, Agatha? When the son of the deposed King of Nigeria emails you directly asking for help, you help. His father ran the freaking country, okay?
Agatha - I don't even know what to say.
Curtis - either way the people I met at that costume party were cool and are my new friends. Mr Jack knew I needed a pick me up after what happened with TJ and he succeeded. He is the best friend anyone could ask for.
Agatha - He is something alright. I do like Jack more than Russell Wayne.
Curtis - Apples and oranges. Come next week at Mayhem Team Donkey Punch is going to start our rise to the top of IIW. Mr Jack was well on his way to running this place and now with my assistance he is unstoppable.
Agatha - You know what Curtis? I don't doubt that at all. I've known you long enough to just not question your method and the way you do things. I know just like everyone else knows when you put your mind to something they're really is no stopping you.
Curtis - I have never given up on anything in my entire life.Even when the deck has been completely stacked against me. I don't even know the meaning of the word quit and right now I have my sights set on Mr Jack and I becoming the Greatest tag team the IIW has ever seen.
Agatha - You mean since team friendship right.
Curtis - If you ask me, there's one copy denominator in that statement. But I'm too big of a man to make that comparison even though it's right there plain as day. All I know is that when I'm best friends with someone.There is nothing that can stop us.And no one that can match us.
Agatha - Well, Curtis, I'm very excited to see what happens on mayhem next week.I'm super pumped that you've made your way back and have a match with one of your best friends. You deserve the world curtis and it's time you actually took it.
Curtis - We will start with this match and see what happens next. One step at a time Agatha we don't want to count our chickens before they hatch.
Agatha - Stay safe Curtis.
Curtis - You as well Agatha talk soon.
Curtis smiles as he hits the end call button. He puts his phone back into his pocket. He picks up the Capri sun next to him and stares out over the water as the scene fades to black.
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