Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2021 3:58:29 GMT
The lights go out and "Goodbye Horses" by Q Lazarus begins to play. A slow fire begins to burn low on the stage, then begins to rise exponentially. After a few seconds, a figure flashes and spins through the red wall of fire. Donning a blue leisure suit, the man finishes his spin with arms extended and stands still. Taking a slow bow, he continues down the ramp, walking briskly. As he climbs the ring stairs, he takes another bow. He's handed a mic as he steps through the ropes. "Goodbye Horses" fades away. The mixed boos and cheers dissipate as he raises the mic to his mouth.*
"It is about damn time that you weak, disgusting fools shut your mouth long enough for me to get a word in."
*This time the crowd erupts with solely boos. The ring begins to fill with half empty water bottles, and any food item imaginable. Swatting hot dogs and kicking the water bottles from the ring, he smiles. The crowd dies down again.*
"(Facetiously) It's always nice to see fans with a modicum of respect."
"For those of you that are clueless, I'm the superlative Mr. Blonde. Now I could come out here and talk about all of the belts that I'm gonna win... or how bad I'll beat people. Ya know. Bam, bam, bam, bam. I don't like losers that say things like that. I'm certainly one of a kind, so I'm not going to state the obvious."
*Another burst of boos and expletives ensues, and runs it's course.*
"(With a quiet chuckle) Haha.. There's that respect I was talking about... I suppose you people are interested in why I'm here. And even though I'm not getting any courtesy from any of you, I was raised outside of slums and trailer parks so I'll give it to you."
"(Able to speak through the moderately audible boos and bated breath of the crowd) The truth is... The truth IS... that I'd much, much rather be incinerating people alive. But when I saw the lowly, poignant roster of pathetic deplorables.. I figured that I'd come here, and show off a bit. And I could tell you that I'll beat anyone in the back, bam, bam, bam. But honestly, I really can't imagine that anyone at all is gonna come out from behind that curtain, even if they're scheduled to. Which will definitely prove my point. In fact I'm nearly certain that even if I were to stand here and filibuster the entire show, there's no one back there, wrestler or security, that'll come out here to make me leave".
*The crowd reacts again and several more half full water, and also empty beer bottles, careen towards him . Mr. Blonde starts to chuck them back into the crowd.*
"But although I'd be perfectly willing to spend an infinitude out here, I cant stand to subject myself to one more minute of the stench emanating from your begrimed bodies. I'll see you all when I'm in action against whatever poor son of a bitch they put in front of me. And on that note, I think I'll go home. Feel free to follow. I'm building a bon fire tonight, and I need a few human scarecrows to make it burn long after the screams subside!!!"
*Blonde drops the mic onto the mat and "Goodbye Horses" begins to play. He exits the ring much the same way that he entered it. Walking up the ramp slightly slower than he came down, he catches one of the tossed beer bottles in midair, dumps the rest into his mouth, and chucks the bottle back. At the top of the ramp he stops, turns around, gives one final bow, and whisks through the curtain.*